


Finding Beauty in Negative Spaces [Final Mix]

by Skyshadow3246, Wolfloner



Series: Finding Beauty in Negative Spaces [1]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Norse Religion & Lore, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Additional Warnings Apply, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, BDSM, Bad BDSM Etiquette, Biting, Blood, Blood Kink, But no, Canon-Typical Violence, Emotional Slow Burn, Enemies to Friends, Enemies to Lovers, Found Family, Genderfluid Loki (Marvel), Jotunn Loki (Marvel), Kink, Knifeplay, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Loki (Marvel), POV Tony Stark, Panic Attacks, Possessive Behavior, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, They get better, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Worship, You'd think they'd go enemies to friends to lovers, actual god loki, so so much kink, that's not what happens, the emotions take a while, the sex happens fast
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-02
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2020-11-15 09:30:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 30,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20864003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skyshadow3246/pseuds/Skyshadow3246, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfloner/pseuds/Wolfloner
Summary: In which about a year ago I jumped headfirst into writing some FrostIron fanfiction w/out reading anything else out there and hit damn near every trope on the way down. And now I wish to go back and make it better and more coherent. Now with plenty of bonus content!"Thor drops off Loki. Loki throws a hissy fit. Tony has had enough of this." That's how it all starts at least. Thor expects Tony to watch his mess of a brother and then that mess of a brother becomes a hell of a lot more important to Tony than he ever expected. So do some other choice characters that Tony, well, he tried to keep them at a distance, but sometimes people have a habit of digging under his walls until they get to his squishy insides.((A/N: Summary lovingly provided by Buying_The_Space_Farm))





	1. Turn around and face this / All your fear misplace it now

**Author's Note:**

> If you're interested in reading the original version of the fic, fear not, it's not going anywhere! 
> 
> [FBiNS's series page!](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1051433)  
Despite this work being called "Final Mix" that's more of me being a Kingdom Hearts nerd and less me saying that after I'm done with this project I won't touch FBiNS anymore. ❤️ I love this world too much. I'm just also stuck with the knowledge of all the weird small (and some not so small) details I need to fix.
> 
> No additional warnings for this chapter.
> 
> If at any point you feel I've forgotten to tag something, either in an author note or in the main tags, please let me know so that I can fix it.

Tony didn’t know what time it was. He only knew that it had taken the better part of 72 hours for him to become exhausted enough to collapse into bed with any real hope of sleep. And now said sleep was being interrupted. By none other than Thor fucking Odinson.

JARVIS had barely had time to alert him—to warn him—before a crash of thunder that sounded far too much like an explosion shook The Tower. 

Even knowing it was Thor did nothing to stave off the cold panic that ran through his veins, or the way his heart hammered painfully against his chest, or the way he had to struggle to remind himself that he was still at home. Still safe. 

A minute or so passed before he was able to get his breathing back under control and venture out of his bedroom. He didn’t bother with pulling on anything over his boxers. If Thor was going to show up unannounced (or barely announced, as the case might be) he could just deal with whatever state of undress Tony happened to be in.

Except that Thor wasn’t alone. Or, he was pretty sure that he was looking at Thor, at least. Gone was his long hair, his hammer, and, judging by the eyepatch, possibly one of his eyes.

He recognized Bruce though. He was standing there in what Tony was pretty sure was actually his own clothes, looking apologetic.

There was also a woman with them, she was clad in leather and metal—Asgardian armor, Tony guessed—and her dark hair pulled back in a tight ponytail.

More concerning than the rest, however, was who was standing at the back of the group, looking thoroughly displeased with his lot in life: Loki. Loki was in his living room. Glaring at him. While similarly decked out in leather armor. (At least the horns weren’t making an appearance this time.)

“What the _fuck?” _Tony finally asked, spreading his arms out to both sides.

“Anthony!” Thor strode forward and threw his arms open in greeting, and for one stunned moment, Tony just let him hug him.

After that moment, his brain kicked back online and he jerked away from Thor’s touch. A torrent of questions buzzed through his mind and when Thor took a step back, Tony managed to find his voice. “Thor… I… what the hell is going on?”

“Aww, Tony, how’d you know that’s my favorite way to be greeted after being off-world?” _God bless Bruce._ He always did know how to help Tony’s brain focus when it was trying to split off into a million tangents.

“Bruce. You’re here. You’re ok.” Relief. Bruce wasn’t dead.

“Yeah. Things were a bit touch and go for a bit, but, you know. They worked out.”

Tony let out a high pitched laugh. Sleep deprivation was doing nothing to help prepare him for… whatever this was. 

“Where the hell have you been?”

“I’m afraid that’s a story for another time, Anthony,” Thor interrupted.

“Like hell it is!” Tony snapped. “You—” he pointed at Thor, “—showed up two years ago, kidnapped my friend—”

“I went with him willingly, Tony—”

“No one knew what had happened to him. Or you! Complete fucking radio silence. You were both dead, as far as anyone knew. You don’t get to just _show up_ and tell me when—or _if—_I’m getting answers!”

Out of the corner of his eye, he caught Loki’s amused smirk. It vanished as soon as Loki realized he’d been seen. The son of a bitch returned to idly glancing around his surroundings, as though it was simply a new curiosity for him to explore.

“We don’t have time for your petty quarrels,” the woman spoke. “We’re only here to drop something off, and then we’ll be on our way.”

Tony bristled and returned his attention to Thor. “Who the hell do you think you are?”

“He is the All-Father, and you _will _treat him with respect!” The woman snapped and Thor looked almost sheepish at her announcement.

He returned her glare with one of his own. “Sorry, who are you again? Why do I care what you have to say?”

“I am a Valkyrie and if you don’t still your tongue I’ll cut it from your mouth.”

Tony was halfway through debating how quickly he could get suited up when Bruce broke in between them. 

“Guys!” Tony bit back his retort after catching the green invading Bruce’s eyes. “Ok. Val, back off, you’re not helping.” 

She huffed at his request. 

“Tony. Look, I’m sorry that we showed up out of nowhere on you, but we need to ask you for a favor.”

His eyes flicked back to Loki. “What kind of favor?”

Thor opened his mouth, but Bruce held up a hand. “Since it’s the middle of the night, I’m just gonna give you the really short version, ok?”

“Maybe. What’s the really short version?”

“The Asgardians have come to Earth, seeking asylum,” Bruce began. “And because… well, for a lot of reasons, honestly, we think it might be in everyone’s best interest if Loki’s not with them.”

Tony didn’t like the way this conversation was going. “Fair enough. And? What does that have to do with me?” He crossed his arms. “If you don’t want him here, we sure as hell don’t. Send him back to Asgard.”

“That’s not possible,” Thor said quietly. “Asgard is—we can’t send him back there.”

“So, what? You brought him here instead? _Why?”_

“Because here at The Tower, he can be monitored. Watched over.”

Tony laughed. He couldn’t _not_ laugh. There was no way they were serious. “No. Absolutely not. Fuck off.”

“Anthony—”

“Tony—”

“No! No chance in hell is he staying here!”

“I told you this would be a waste of time,” Loki drawled. “I’m not a child who needs to be minded. I’ll be perfectly fine on my own.”

Tony suppressed the shudder that hearing Loki’s voice sent through him. “Or, and I’m just spitballing here. But given that Loki is a fucking psychopath and a murderer; maybe we should consider something beyond imprisonment. Like execution.” The words left an awful taste on his tongue, but he couldn’t take them back. And maybe it would be enough to make this shit show just _stop._

Loki met his gaze and smiled as Thor took a step forward. The energy in the room shifted, and static sparked brightly across the god’s body.

He retreated back a step and held his hands up. There was no way he could call his armor in time—assuming that his armor could even withstand the force of… whatever it was that Thor was summoning.

“Come now, Brother, maybe Stark is right,” Loki taunted. “Maybe I’m too dangerous to just be locked away. Maybe you _should _execute me.”

“Loki, for once in your life, be quiet,” Bruce hissed. Then he turned and, in a moment of either incredible courage, or incredible stupidity, placed himself in Thor’s path. “We’re not killing him.”

The crackles of electricity subsided at Bruce’s assurance. “It’s a long story, but try to trust me when I say that Loki isn’t going to cause any more problems.”

“Trust?!” Loki and Tony snapped at once.

“I don’t need his trust! Nor his mercy!”

“How could I possibly trust _anything_ involving him?”

“Look, he helped us escape Sakaar,” Bruce glanced between Loki and Tony.

“I helped _myself _escape.”

“And he fought alongside us against Hela and her undead army.”

“For all the good that did.” Loki’s jaw tightened. He was on edge, and that was putting _Tony _on edge.

“He risked his life to resurrect Surtur,” Thor added. “And he stood proudly by my side as I was crowned King of Asgard.”

Tony just stared at them for another long moment. He only knew what the last part might mean. What in the fuck had happened during Bruce’s joyride through space? How could he bear to defend Loki?

“And… and what? You think this little diva is ok with being back in his big bro’s shadow?”

Loki took a step forward—the first time he’d moved since arriving—and paid no obvious attention to the way that Val tensed. “Stark, if you think for an instant that I’m in Thor’s shadow—”

“Without him, the whole of Asgard would have been killed.”

For the moment, Loki's attention shifted to Thor. “Exactly. I’ve done nothing wrong. I don’t deserve to be _imprisoned.”_

Thor sighed and gave Loki a beseeching look. “Loki, this is for your own safety—”

“Excuse me?” Tony interrupted. “Fuck his safety! You remember that this lunatic threw me out a window, right?” He jerked his thumb towards said offending window. “That one, in fact.”

“_I_ remember it.” Loki’s green eyes held his and his mouth twisted into a wolfish grin. “And I can’t promise that there won’t be a repeat performance of that little show if I’m left here. I am quite curious to see if Stark has perfected unaided flight yet. Or perhaps my second attempt will be more successful.”

Val moved then. In the next instant, she was beside Loki, gripping his arm tightly and whispering something in his ear. The bastard’s eyes went wide and Tony watched as the blood drained from his face. When she pulled back Loki stared at her, looking far more subdued than he had a moment before.

Thor narrowed his eye at the exchange. “Val, what did you do?”

She shrugged and shoved Loki away from her, causing him to stumble. “Convinced him to behave.”

Tony could see the rage and fear warring in Loki’s eyes. He was rapidly clenching and unclenching his fists, tiny green sparks of magic arcing off his fingertips. He was shaking and his breathing had gone uneven. Tony could recognize an anxiety attack when he saw one. Whatever Loki had been threatened with—and it _was_ a threat—he was afraid. 

He knew Loki didn’t want to be here. He didn’t want to be caged in. He hated the idea and hated everyone in this room. But whatever Val had suggested was _worse._

Part of Tony was glad; Loki _should_ suffer, after all the harm and mayhem he had caused. All the death and destruction.

But another part, a part that he couldn’t convince to quiet down, hated seeing anyone look like that.

_Fuck. _“Fine!” He surprised even himself. “Fucking, _fine._ JARVIS, pick out an unoccupied floor. Far away from everyone else. Monitor everything Loki does. I want hourly reports.”

“Right away, Sir.”

Loki looked… Tony wasn’t sure how to describe it. Angry. Defeated. Hurt. 

“Val,” Thor’s tone commanded their attention. “What did you say to my brother?”

When she pulled a small silver disk from a pouch on her hip, the other three men in the room stiffened. “I just reminded him who was in charge around here.” She took several measured strides forward and pressed the disk into Tony’s hand. Then she retrieved a small black remote and handed that over as well. 

Loki’s eyes didn’t stray from the device that now sat seemingly innocently in Tony’s hand. 

“C’mon, man,” Bruce spoke quietly, gently leading Loki towards the elevator. Tony didn’t miss the disgusted look he shot towards Val.

“See. He’s all docile now. Like a little lamb,” she crooned.

Thor stayed conspicuously silent as Val turned and left as well.

“Thor. What am I holding?”

“The Grandmaster called them _Obedience Disks.”_

Who, or what, was The Grandmaster? He was too tired for this. Nevermind that he’d never get back to sleep now. He pinched the bridge of his nose with his free hand. “What does it do?”

“It’s a torture device that shocks its victims with electricity.”

“Oh.” He looked down at the unassuming bit of metal. “Would it work?”

When Thor stopped in front of him, Tony realized just how tired he looked.

“Anthony, I need you to understand something,” he said quietly. Tony nodded. “We are shield brothers, and I love you as my own blood.”

“Oh. Uh. Thanks?”

“But if you so much as threaten to place that device on my brother, I will never forgive you.”

Tony swallowed. “So, if I actually used it?” Not that he could see himself using it. He was a lot of things. And had done a lot of questionable things. But torture wasn't one of them.

“I suspect Loki would kill you long before I’d have a chance.”

He held the devices out towards Thor. “Take it, then. I don’t want it.” He also didn't like the idea of anyone else getting a hold of it. He didn't want the responsibility.

Thor crushed them in his hand. The god was obviously exhausted. He had to be running on the last dregs of his energy. Tony hoped he might be able to rest after this. “I’m going to go see that Loki is able to get settled.”

“You mean you’re gonna go protect him from Val?”

“Perhaps both.”

Tony let out a sigh. “Hey, Thor?”

“Yes?”

“You owe me.”

* * *

For the next few days, the idea of sleep—or even rest—became an increasingly foreign concept to Tony. He poured every bit of energy he had into updating The Tower’s infrastructure, and security, and then _found _more energy to start fast-tracking upgrades to his Suit. 

Bucky started staying down in the lab with him, and would periodically remind him to eat and drink. He seemed to have some issue with Tony drinking “too much” caffeine, though, and so Tony had threatened to bar him from the lab more than once because of it.

In the months since Steve and Nat had found and rescued Bucky, the two of them had become good friends. He hadn’t grown up hearing nearly as many stories about Bucky as he had Steve, and that was probably a good thing. It turned out he was almost as much of a science nerd as Tony, so they rarely ran short of things to talk about.

Unfortunately, at the moment, it also meant that Bucky was going to try to look out for his “best interests”.

“Tony, I get it, I do, but you need to slee—”

“No. You don’t.” Tony didn’t even look up from the wireframes he was manipulating. “If you did, you and Steve would both be far, _far, _away from here.” He paused. “Actually, that’s not a bad idea. Look, I own a few places in California and—”

“We’re not leaving, Tony. If he’s so dangerous, why aren't _you _running away then?”

“Because he’s _my _responsibility!”

“He’s not even fuckin’ doing anything!”

Tony paused in his work to glare at Bucky. Or to glare at the fact that, as far as anyone could tell, he was right. JARVIS’s reports had been largely the same the entire time Loki had been there. He wasn’t doing anything.

He had a journal that he would write in occasionally—not in a language JARVIS had been able to decipher—and he had a few books he seemed to be reading. He had even turned on the TV a couple of times. Loki seemed to eat, drink, and piss roughly as much as any human might. The only thing of note was that he seemed to function perfectly fine on even less sleep than Tony usually managed.

“Maybe he hasn’t yet,” Tony muttered. “But just wait. He’s gonna fuck everything up.”


	2. If I care too much and break this / You will find a nameless foe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I meant to leave a shout-out at the start of the last chapter and I didn't (thanks, work). But I can do it now!  
In no particular order, I want to thank some of the people who've been unendingly supportive and helped me with both the OG version of FBiNS and also have held my hand and encouraged me during this new version!
> 
> [Dendrite_Blues](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dendrite_blues), [KasumiAFKGod](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KasumiAFKGod/pseuds/KasumiAFKGod), [WhisperingMagpie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhisperingMagpie), [Buying_The_Space_Farm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/buying_the_space_farm), [SuccubusKayko](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuccubusKayko), [Switchknitter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/switchknitter), and [SalamanderInk](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SalamanderInk)!
> 
> And of course, everyone who's kudosed, commented, bookmarked, shared, or just read and enjoyed what I've created!
> 
> Oh, and: No additional warnings for this chapter.

Tony was getting sick of being woken up by sudden loud noises.

“JARVIS, buddy, what the fuck kind of alarm clock is that?”

“It’s not an alarm clock, Sir. And I regret waking you, but it seems that Loki has disappeared.”

Tony was out of bed and trying to call Thor in the next moment. Given that the line rang once and then went straight to a voicemail that Thor had never set up, that proved to be useless.

He called Bruce next.

“Tony?”

“Hey. Do you know how to get ahold of Thor?”

Bruce instantly sounded more alert. “Not really. Why? Did something happen?”

Tony hesitated. There wasn’t much Bruce could do in this situation. And getting Hulk involved while Loki wasn’t even in the building seemed like it would just be asking for trouble.

“Yes, but I’m handling it. Let me know if you can find Thor.”

“What are you handling, Ton—” He’d apologize for hanging up on Bruce later. Or, never, possibly.

“JARVIS, start scanning every news outlet and social media site worldwide. If there’s anything that even _might_ be related to Loki, we need to know about it.”

“Already working, Sir.”

By the end of the approximately 125 seconds that it took him to suit up, JARVIS was announcing something new.

“Loki has returned to his room.”

“What the fuck?”

He took a deep breath and, armor and all, rode the elevator down to Loki’s floor. He hadn’t seen the other man in person since Thor had brought him to The Tower, and that was by design. But now he was ready for a fight if Loki wanted to give him one.

He slammed the door to the suite open and stalked his way inside, only to find Loki sitting quietly on the couch, book in hand. Loki’s eyes barely glanced up, unperturbed by Tony’s loud entrance.

“Look at you, actually wearing clothes this time.”

“What did you do?”

Loki narrowed his eyes and set the book down on his lap. He straightened up but didn’t deign to stand. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I haven’t done anything.”

“Don’t bullshit me! Where the fuck did you go?”

“What are you on about?” Loki rolled his eyes. “I’ve been right here. Where I’m supposed to be.”

“No. You weren’t. You left. Where. Did. You. Go?” Tony punctuated each word with another step closer to Loki.

Loki swallowed and his eyes widened. Tony caught a whispered swear, although he didn’t recognize the language. “Nowhere important.”

“Try again.” Tony stopped less than a foot away from him.

“Pardon me?” Loki’s eyes darted around the room, likely planning an escape route. 

“You didn’t disappear to go, ‘nowhere important,’ asshole.”

For just a second, something about Loki’s appearance flickered. He looked… tired? Stressed? Frightened? But before Tony could really land on a good adjective, he was back to his usual emotionless mask.

“There was nothing left,” he admitted quietly. The other man shook his head. “It doesn’t matter. I’m not going back.” And with that, he retrieved his book and stared at the page it fell open to, not reading it.

“You can’t just fucking leave and expect—”

“It won’t happen again,” Loki cut him off.

Tony frowned and glanced to the side. JARVIS had kept a running feed of all mentions of Loki from the news and social media. Nothing of interest or concern had popped up. No death, no chaos, no property damage. There was a forum where several members seemed to be having an active conversation about Loki, but it looked like it was about the character from Norse Mythology, not the being sitting in front of him.

“It had better not,” was the best he could manage. He didn’t have any leverage. He could pretend he still had the Obedience Disk, but Thor had warned him against even threatening Loki with the damned thing. He felt more cornered than before.

He knew something like this would happen again. And he had to be able to do something about it.

* * *

After spending the next several hours trying to contact Thor, Tony gave up and went with Plan B. Contact the rest of The Avengers. Or at least the ones who had dealt with Loki before.

One benefit of Bruce’s seemingly miraculous return is that it meant that Clint and Natasha were actually at The Tower for once, rather than at the farm several hours away. And Steve, well. Steve technically had an apartment in Brooklyn. But Tony could count on one hand how often he could actually be found there. He and Bucky seemed to prefer staying in The Tower.

What he hadn’t anticipated was that Peter would also be in The Tower, talking with Bruce. Nor that when he found out that _something_ interesting was going on that he’d insist on joining the meeting as well. The kid had a kind of stubbornness about him that made Tony want to send May flowers for putting up with him.

So the six of them sat down in a conference room and Tony tried to figure out the best way to break the news of the situation.

“Ok, just to make sure everyone’s up to speed… About a week ago, Thor showed up, and returned Bruce to us.”

Bruce managed to roll his eyes and mutter, “You make it sound like I was dead,” while still returning Clint’s enthusiastic high five.

“Next time we’ll be sure not to worry about you,” Natasha said with a smile that betrayed her unimpressed tone.

“That’s all I ask,” Bruce returned the smile.

_Hell._ Tony was about to ruin the whole damn mood.

“Right, well. Bruce isn’t the only thing—only one—that Thor brought with him to Earth.”

“Yeah, we know, he brought a bunch of Asgardians too, right?” Clint asked.

“Yes, he did. But also he left one here.”

He caught the way Steve’s jaw set. And how Clint and Natasha immediately shifted, all of their attention on whatever news Tony was about to share.

Peter was being, in Tony’s mind, uncharacteristically quiet. He was watching and Tony could all but feel the nervous energy radiating off of him, but he wasn’t actually speaking up.

“Who’d he leave here?” Natasha asked.

“He, uh. He left Loki here.”

It was immediately obvious who already knew that information, and who didn’t. Steve’s expression didn’t shift, but Bruce winced from the sheer volume of Clint’s outburst. Tony couldn’t place Natasha’s expression, which he assumed was a bad thing. Peter’s mouth had just dropped open.

“What _the fuck_ do you mean that Loki’s here?!” Clint had jumped to his feet. “What the fuck? You don’t think maybe you should share shit like that _before_ we come to visit? Or are you just lining us all up to get killed?”

“Clint, calm down,” Bruce tried.

“I will _not_ calm down! We're in danger!”

"We're not in danger—" Bruce tried again.

"No, Clint's right," Natasha cut him off. "I don't know what you _think_ you understand about him, Bruce, but he proved to be a formidable threat." Her attention snapped back to Tony. "Why did you keep this from us?"

Tony held his hands up placatingly. "It wasn't so much that I was trying to keep it from you, as... well. I've been busy."

_"Busy?!" _Clint looked ready to jump across the table.

"Yes, busy! Upgrading security measures and JARVIS and my suit and _trying to keep us all safe!"_

"So, why call the meeting now?" Steve asked quietly. "What changed?"

"He disappeared." At the new round of outrage, he had to nearly shout to be heard, "Only for a few minutes!"

"And he didn't actually do anything!" Bruce added. "Yeah, he left, but he also came back. And we haven't been able to trace anything back to his disappearance, have we, JARVIS?"

"That is correct, Doctor Banner."

Steve and Natasha didn't look any more pleased about that news. And Tony got it. Just because they couldn't find anything he'd done, that hardly meant he hadn't _done anything_.

Clint was somewhere between panic and rage, and Tony wasn't sure which way it was going to go. Either option could lead to a physical confrontation.

Steve broke the silence. "Look, Bruce, I… well, I don't get it. But you _have_ to know we can't trust Loki. Just because he didn't do anything this time, that doesn't mean he won't in the future." He crossed his arms. "Unless we have a way to make sure he can't leave?"

No, they didn't have a way to make sure Loki couldn't leave. Or any real way to control him at all. Tony didn't want to admit that out loud, though.

Peter had his head tilted to the side, and his brow pinched together.

"Um, sorry," Peter interjected quietly, saving Tony from having to be honest. "But… he's probably bored, right?"

"Bored?" Tony asked, meeting Peter's eyes.

Peter froze as the others turned towards him as well. "Sorry! Don't mind me, I don't know what's going on, so I'll just sit here quietly and—"

"No, go ahead, Peter. What were you saying?" Bruce encouraged gently.

The kid looked ready for the world to swallow him up. He noted that Peter seemed to be doing his best to look at just Tony and Bruce. "I just mean… You'd all be bored too, right? And like, in some places, there are even laws. Germany and Austria, I think? That trying to break out of prison is legal? Since it's human nature to want to escape and be free."

"He's not human!" Clint snapped.

Peter shrank back but didn't allow Clint's outrage to stop him. "I know he's not! And that he did a lot of really horrible things!" He took a breath. "I'm just saying that… maybe we should give him something to do? So he doesn't have to find his own ways to entertain himself?"

"What did you have in mind?" Steve asked. Was he actually considering Peter's suggestion?

"I don't know. What does he have access to now?"

"He's got a TV and some books."

"That's it?" Peter asked.

"And some journal or something that he writes in."

Tony hated to admit it, but saying it out loud, Peter had a good point. He'd be crawling up the walls by now. Well before now, actually. He wasn't really sure Loki knew how to use the television, or what kinds of books he might like to read. Or if he even liked reading, for that matter, and wasn't just trying to find ways to kill time.

Clint looked between them, his mouth agape. "I can't believe I'm fucking hearing this. Are you actually considering this? Taking advice from a _child_?"

"You'd take advice from your children," Steve pointed out.

"That's different! My children aren't…"

Peter bristled. "Aren't what?"

"Aren't taking the side of a psychopath!"

"That's enough, Clint." Bruce leaned forward. "Peter is right. We've been unintentionally cruel."

"Unintentionally… Oh, fuck that!" Clint threw his arms into the air. "I'm out. If you all want to fucking… Break bread with that asshole, you can do it without me." He paused at the door and looked back to find that Natasha hadn't gotten up. "Fine. Someone give me a call when you come to your senses."

"I don't like this," Natasha told them after Clint slammed the door shut. "But I have to agree that a bored Loki would definitely be a bigger problem for us." She focused on Bruce again, before looking at the other four that had remained. "And it's _probably_ better to keep him somewhere we can monitor him properly."

Tony ran a hand through his hair, waiting to see if anyone else had anything to add. "Ok. I guess we'll figure out what kind of enrichment a god needs."

* * *

Not terribly surprisingly, Peter’s first suggestion was, “We should give him a computer.”

“What? Why would we do that?”

“Well, one, it’s not like you don’t have extras. Or at least have access to one we could give him. Two, you can do lots with computers, right? That alone could do a lot to help keep him out of trouble. He could read, or play games, or watch movies, or—”

“Ok, kid, I get it.” Tony pinched the bridge of his nose. It wasn’t _the worst_ idea ever.

“And if he’s going to be living here for a while… Which… is he?”

“I fucking hope not,” Tony grumbled. “The sooner we can convince Thor to find another place to keep him, the better.”

“Well, still. If he’s gonna be here for any length of time, maybe we should let him like… have some stuff of his own?”

Tony just looked at him. “What are you suggesting, Pete?”

Peter shifted under his gaze. “I dunno. We could like… give him a stipend or something? Not a lot of money, but enough to buy some books or something of his own?”

“You can’t be serious.”

“I’m trying to be proactive! If this place feels at least a little bit more like a home than a prison, wouldn’t he be more likely to want to stay?”

Tony and Peter wound up arguing and debating the finer points of what kind of things Loki could be allowed to have on the computer. By the end, the laptop was one of the most encrypted pieces of tech in the entire Tower. The firewalls had firewalls, and Tony had gotten creative with some of the parental settings to further keep Loki away from too much information about The Avengers.

“Parental controls?” Peter frowned. “You’re not even gonna let the poor guy have porn?”

Tony nearly choked on nothing at Peter’s comment. “Look, I’m not… I’m not using the parental controls entirely for their intended purpose.”

“So he can still watch porn if he wanted to?”

“Jesus Christ, Peter.”

“What?”

“No, I’m not blocking all the porn. Happy?”

Peter was fucking smirking at him. “Kind of.”

"And where the hell was this two hours ago?"

"Where was what?"

"Everyone listens to you and you look ready to run for the hills. Now suddenly you're back to being a pain in the ass."

Peter shrugged and tightened his hold on the laptop as they boarded the elevator. "That was different," he offered. "I know you."

"You could get to know the others if you wanted."

He only shrugged again. "I'm working on it. Doctor Banner and I are bonding and stuff."

Tony smiled. Honestly, he was glad to see it. For both of their sakes. But also he could remember how starstruck Peter had been when he'd first met Bruce. The latter had been giddy from it.

_"He doesn't care about Hulk!"_

_"I'm pretty sure everyone cares about Hulk."_

_"You know what I mean. He was excited to meet _me,_ not him."_

The elevator door opened, pulling Tony from his thoughts. This was a terrible idea. A terrible idea that he'd only agreed to when Peter threatened to just climb up The Tower to meet Loki for himself.

Tony's hand was on the door handle when Peter huffed at him. 

"Aren't you at least going to knock?"

"Peter, he's a prisoner. Plus, he knows we're here."

"So we're not even going to give him a little bit of privacy or agency?"

Tony sighed but knocked all the same. He didn't actually wait for Loki to answer—the man had already proven he couldn't be trusted with things like _agency._

His eyes darted around the room, keeping an eye out for any possible traps or threats. The kitchen to his right looked unused. He could see the door to one of the bedrooms was open, everything about it looked similarly undisturbed. 

If he'd thought about it, Tony probably would have expected Loki to be eating or reading, or maybe even taking a nap. Instead, he'd apparently figured out how the television worked. More surprising was that he'd worked out Netflix and looked mildly annoyed when he paused what he was watching to look up at them.

"My, my. Two visits in two days, Stark? You're spoiling me." His expression shifted to one of confusion when his eyes landed on Peter. "Two visitors today, even. Who's this?"

When Peter stepped forward he saw him take in what Loki was watching on the TV with a smile before directing his attention to Loki proper. "Uh. Hi, I'm Peter."

Loki looked Peter up and down and _why_ had Tony not at least insisted that Peter be suited up for this meeting? He nodded in greeting, "Loki."

Tony watched as Peter's posture shifted. He didn't relax though. It looked more like Peter was ready to leap to safety if needed. Good. Smart.

"So, you're living here now, right? I—_we_—thought that maybe you were getting bored?"

_Something_ flickered across Loki's face for a moment. It might have been amusement, but Tony wasn't certain. Loki spared Tony a quick glance before looking back at Peter. "And?"

"And…" Peter's grip on the laptop tightened. "Ok, I'm really sorry. I thought I… Uh, meeting you is actually kind of freaking me out." He looked back at Tony for a second, as though making sure he wasn't suddenly alone. "You… you hurt a lot of people, didn't you?"

Loki didn't flinch away from the question, but he did seem to soften a little bit. "I did."

"Do you want to hurt more people?"

Tony's fingers itched. He wanted to pull Peter out of the room and make sure Loki never set eyes on him again.

“Sometimes,” Loki tilted his head slightly. “It varies from moment to moment.”

Peter nodded. “What about right now? Like, on a scale from one to ten. One being… not at all, and ten being… well, we’d already be dead, I guess.”

Loki smiled. A real, honest smile, not a smirk or sneer. Tony hadn’t seen him smile before and hadn’t expected the way it made his eyes light up. Somehow none of this comforted Tony in the least.

“You, a one.” He looked pointedly at Tony, “He’s around a five.”

Before Tony could properly formulate a good snarky reply, Peter was talking again. “Ok, cool, that’s good. A five doesn’t lead to death. Let me know if you hit above a six, alright?”

The god laughed. “I like you, Peter.”

Peter finally relaxed and returned his smile. Then he glanced at the TV. “Black Mirror, huh? Which episode?”

“Erm. I believe it’s called Playtest.”

“Oh! That one’s so good!” Peter crossed the room and sat down next to Loki on the couch, setting the laptop down on the table in front of them.

“Peter. We’re not here to watch TV.” Tony couldn’t believe how quickly Peter had shifted from anxiety to… trust? Even if it wasn’t trust, Peter felt safe enough to just _sit down_ next to Loki as if that wasn’t the most insane option he could have chosen.

Loki frowned. He’d been halfway towards reaching for the remote. “Right. Why are you here, Stark?”

“We brought you something!” Peter tapped the laptop to bring Loki’s attention to it. “It’s connected to the internet. After we figured that you were getting bored with not much to do, we wanted to fix that.”

Peter’s enthusiasm was met with a look of confusion from Loki.

“Oh, right. You probably don’t have the internet in Asgard, huh? Sorry. It’s, um…” He glanced back at Tony. “Mr. Stark, how would you describe the internet?”

“It's a tool,” Tony said carefully. “You can watch movies, read books, do research—well, some research. There’s plenty of things you don’t get to know, so that laptop is encrypted to keep you out of it.”

Loki pulled the laptop onto his lap and carefully opened it. He watched the screen for a moment, then his eyes flicked over the keyboard.

“You use the trackpad,” Peter pointed to it, “to navigate around the screen. Then you have these two buttons here to click on things, and—Oh! I know!” Peter pulled a piece of paper and a pen from his pocket, and jotted something down. “Here’s my e-mail address and phone number. So if you get bored, or don’t understand something, you can just ask me. JARVIS can help you, too.” Peter blinked. “Wait, crap. I can show you what e-mail is. Do you have a phone?” When Loki shook his head, Peter turned to look at Tony again. “Can Mr. Loki have a phone?”

Tony caught Loki’s amused expression as he mouthed, “Mr. Loki”.

“No, he can’t have a phone.” Despite the obvious issues with trying to lock down a cell phone, Tony wasn’t inclined to try giving another Asgardian a lesson on how phones worked. Although Peter seemed up to it. Maybe he should have Peter talk to Thor the next time he showed up.

“Look,” he attempted to regain control of the conversation. “There’s credit card information saved on the computer. Use it to buy some books, or movies, or whatever. But keep yourself entertained.”

Loki rolled his eyes at him. But his smile returned a little when he faced Peter again. “Thank you, Peter. I appreciate your consideration for my well-being.”

Peter beamed. “So, how far into the episode are you—”

“Peter, we’re leaving.”

“What? No. Have you watched this episode, Mr. Stark? I think you’d really like it, too!”

Tony crossed his arms and glared until Peter gave in. “Fine.”

It was only once they were safely back in the elevator that Tony spoke again, rounding on Peter “What the hell was that, kid? You gave him your e-mail address? Your _phone number?”_

Peter met his eyes and gave him a defiant shrug. “He needs a friend, Mr. Stark. And it’s not like he can hurt me through the computer or something.”

Tony groaned and ran a hand through his hair. This kid was going to be the death of him. He just knew it.

* * *

Over the next couple of days, Loki seemed to take Tony’s offer to heart and used the laptop to purchase over a dozen books. Tony couldn’t make any sense of the pattern, or if there even was one. Loki had bought several children’s books, a few comics, some reference guides, and even one book on Norse Mythology. The last one seemed like an odd choice to Tony, but if it kept Loki out of trouble—and in The Tower—he wasn’t going to complain. 

And, according to JARVIS, he’d asked as few questions as he could about how the computer worked, seeming to prefer to figure it out for himself.

On the afternoon of the third day, JARVIS gave his hourly report—seven minutes late. “Sir, there has been a notable shift in Loki’s behavior this evening.”

Tony stopped what he was doing and froze. He didn’t even set down the screwdriver he was holding. “What kind of shift?”

“He seems to be… emotionally unstable, sir. I do not currently believe him to be a danger to others. However… I fear he may be a danger to himself.”

Tony swallowed and set the tool down. He stared down at the table and considered what to do with that information. So what if Loki hurt himself? Good. One fewer problem for The Avengers to have to deal with. But… “What’s he doing?”

“Drinking, at the moment.”

What, and how much, could Loki possibly be drinking to cause JARVIS to get concerned? “Do you think he can even get drunk?” He’d seen Thor drunk once or twice, but that had involved alien caliber alcohol. Not anything that Tony kept stored in The Tower (and definitely not somewhere Loki would have access to it).

“I believe we will know soon enough, Sir.”

Tony shifted and rolled his chair back away from his workbench. He didn’t like this. He didn’t like that he didn’t like this. He was on his feet and on the way to the elevator with the intention of checking on Loki before he stopped himself. He sighed and decided against it. Drunk Loki probably wasn’t something he was really equipped to deal with right then.

“Keep an eye on him, JARVIS. Let me know if things get worse.”

“Of course, Sir.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter we get some Loki POV and I'm very very excited to share it.


	3. Settle down, embrace this / Lock the doors and make this real

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in one day, so be sure to click back if you just jumped to chapter 3. :)
> 
> No additional warnings for this chapter.
> 
> A note about MCU Canon: This series kind of plays fast and loose with some things.  
In general: AoU, CA:CW, and A:IW/EG just... don't exist. But generally speaking Thor: Ragnarok did. So I kind of had to play with finding a different reason for Bruce to be out in space.  
If you have any questions about what is or isn't canon to this series, feel free to ask. :)

**Loki**

Loki was getting lonely. Not at all an unusual feeling for him, but usually his loneliness meant he was either truly isolated or else was surrounded by people who didn’t care about him. This limbo between the two felt exceptionally torturous. How dare Thor leave him here like this. In the hands of someone who wished him dead, while trying to claim it was for his own safety.

Stark and the boy—Peter—had brought him a computer. And as a distraction, it was certainly better than nothing, but it failed to ease the growing ache that this imprisonment was causing. 

He was lying quietly on the couch tossing a dagger up into the air and catching it, trying to stave off boredom. For the handful of days that he'd been there, he had been hearing something several floors above that made the harsh pang of loneliness worse. 

He could hear the scratch of claws on wooden floors. If he really focused, and no one was cooking anything too pungent, sometimes he could smell the dog living above him.

He knew that if he left his prison, Stark and the rest of his merry band of idiots would be informed. But desperation makes for poor choices. He didn’t think he could hear any movement in the general area of the dog. The fight that would ensue from him leaving would be worth it, he decided.

So Loki honed in on where he could hear the dog padding around upstairs and slipped along Yggdrasil’s branches until he could emerge upstairs.

He’d expected the room to be deserted and immediately found out that he was incorrect when _ something _ heavy and metal collided with his throat, lifting him up into the air. 

His eyes widened as he took in what he could see of the human(?) _ holding him up with one arm. _ Long hair. Blue eyes. Metal armor covering one arm. _ Why only one? _It wasn’t someone he recognized. Not someone he’d fought before. A new recruit? Loki struggled to name the expression on the man’s face. He did his best to ignore his impulse to blast the man away from him when he realized he was only observing Loki in return.

“Your eyes.” It took Loki a moment to reign his confusion in and school his expression. What about his eyes?

“They were blue when you attacked New York. They’re green now.” Loki’s heart pounded in his chest. He already didn’t like the way this conversation was going. “You aren’t acting like you did then, either. After Hulk beat you, you were all broken and bloody, but you looked more like you do now.”

Loki struggled to swallow with the metal fist around his throat. This had been a mistake. He’d expected to argue or fight with Stark or Rogers, but not… whoever this was. This man who was speaking so evenly and matter-of-fact, as though he wasn’t laying bare everything Loki preferred to pretend never happened. 

“Someone else was controlling you. You were brainwashed when you attacked before, weren’t you.”

It didn’t feel like a question. And Loki might have laughed had he been able to. He wanted to reach out and rend this man in two. He might even manage to argue self-defense if it came down to it.

But he hesitated. The man’s tone wasn’t accusatory. Was he genuinely trying to understand what Loki had gone through?

Neither “controlled” nor “brainwashed” truly encompassed what had happened to him. But one more half-truth wasn’t going to hurt. 

“Yes,” he choked out. 

The man nodded, and Loki hoped he was going to be released. But apparently, that wasn’t the plan. “You use magic, though. To hide how you look.”

Cold panic shot through Loki in a rush. Did he know? How could he possibly know? Did others? Had Thor—

“I've seen it on the feed. When you were scared or thought you were alone. Dark circles under your eyes, hair crazy. Show me what you really look like.”

_ Oh. _ That… That was fine, then. He let the illusion covering him dissipate. He kept his expression as blank as he could manage, but let the man see the effects that stress and exhaustion had had on him. 

Once he was sure the man had looked him over, he brought the illusion back. No sense in showing off his weaknesses if he could avoid it.

The man finally released him, and Loki slumped down against the wall, trying to take his time pulling in the air he’d been deprived. While he straightened up he looked around the room, taking in as many details as he could. Exits. Possible weapons. How the man decorated where he lived. Any detail could be used to his advantage so long as he kept himself from panicking.

After a moment the other man offered his non-armored hand in a Midgardian greeting. “Bucky.”

There was no reason to think this was a trap. If _ Bucky _ wanted to hurt him—well, more than just threatening to strangle him—he’d already had his chance. So he reached out and took the offered hand. “Loki.”

“Good to meet you, Loki. The real you.”

Bucky sounded so genuine that a smirk twitched at Loki’s mouth. He couldn’t help it. This man would either be a useful ally or else he could spell destruction for Loki’s mental health. In the back of his mind he decided that at the first sign of betrayal, he’d simply have to strike first.

Movement from his right drew his attention. The dog that he’d been hearing! It was a brown mutt of a thing that shifted forward cautiously. Without a second thought, Loki dropped down to one knee and reached a hand out towards the dog. She sniffed curiously for only a second before happily tackling him to the ground.

Loki let out the first real laugh he could remember managing in the last few months as she made her best effort to climb up onto his chest.

“Pup seems to like you,” Bucky said with a smile.

“It appears so,” he returned the smile. Pup’s enthusiasm and her soft fur felt like a balm to his fraying nerves. “Does she—” He cut himself off when he heard movement.

The elevator door opened and Stark stood there. Their eyes met for only a moment before he released his grip on Pup and dropped back to his own floor.

He was alone again, but it felt slightly less oppressive than it had before.

* * *

**Tony**

Tony no longer knew what day it was. Staying seven stories underground in his lab meant that he only had the vaguest notion of the passage of time. But he was making _ progress _. Real progress. He would never say he was confident that he could keep Loki where he wanted him, but he could definitely track him better. 

And, honestly, the amount of other issues he’d found as he’d worked through the security procedures made him cringe. How had they never had problems before this?

“I think that’s it. JARVIS, run a test?” Tony stood and stretched, glancing around the room. Bucky was lounging in one of the chairs, so it was… morning? Possibly? The other man looked like he’d been dozing until Tony spoke.

“Two errors found in the process—” 

Tony opened his mouth to swear but they were both cut off by a new voice.

“Mute, JARVIS.”

He whirled around just in time to see Pepper step out of the elevator, walking towards him.

“Pep. You’re here.” Even the familiar spark of warmth that filled him upon seeing Pepper, especially when they’d been apart for so long, felt somehow detached. He crossed the room to meet her halfway. “Pepper. Pepper, no. You _ can’t _be here.” Those thoughts didn’t stop him from pulling her into a hug. “Look, I know you’re getting frustrated, but you need to go back to London. You can’t stay here. It’s not safe yet.”

Pepper returned the hug briefly before stepping back so that she could look him in the face. “Tony, you’re being ridiculous. I can’t stay in London.”

“Of course you can—”

“I have a business to run. I need to be—”

“—London is great. There’s teleconferencing, you—”

“Here. Where the company is.”

Tony deflated. “Pepper, please. Please just listen to me and—”

Pepper’s hands trailed down his arms and took his hands. “I have a dozen meetings today, and the next—”

“I’m still rewriting security and JARVIS—”

“—one is in five minutes. TONY!” Tony’s eyes went wide as she raised her voice, cutting off his pleading. “Tony, I don’t have time, okay? I have a multi-billion dollar business to run. Your business. And I cannot do that from London. I need to be _ here _ and I need you to sign some things.”

“Pep, please?” Maybe begging would work.

She gave him a fond, if exasperated, smile. “I’m a big girl, Tony. I can take care of myself. Everything is ok. Now,” she dropped his hands and retrieved a folder from the bag she’d dropped when they hugged. “Sign these for me.” 

In less than a minute, and with barely more than a kiss to his cheek, she was crossing back to the elevator and gone.

A million _ what-ifs _ buzzed through his mind. What if Loki got a hold of her? What if this was the last conversation they ever had? What if—

“Tony?” Bucky’s quiet voice made him jump. He’d forgotten he wasn’t alone.

He started pacing, flexing his hands, trying to keep himself from shaking. He couldn’t have a breakdown. Not yet. He had work to do.

“Show me the errors, JARVIS.”

Bucky might have said something more, but Tony poured all of his focus into solving the errors. Every time he’d think he had one beat, another would just take its place. Hours must have passed before finally, _ finally _, it came back error-free. “Run it. Implement it Tower wide, let’s go.”

As soon as that was done, he was back to searching for more errors to fix.

“Hey, Tony. Let’s go get some lunch.” 

His attention was delayed in snapping back to his surroundings. Bucky had walked over to him at some point. 

“Tony?”

“Be quiet or get out!” He all but snarled. Bucky jumped in surprise. _ Shit. _ He took a deep breath and rubbed his hands over his face. “Sorry. I’m sorry. I just… I can’t, right now. I can’t stop. I didn’t expect her back for another week, at least.” His voice broke and he shook his head. “It’s not safe. And I have to _ make it _ safe. The threat is literally under the same roof as everyone I care about. I can’t stop now. There are like 15 updates I need to run off the top of my head. I need to modify my Suits. Maybe make some changes to the Reactor. It’s—”

“You’re going to kill yourself working like this, Tony.”

“If it keeps everyone else safe, I’m ok with that.”

“Tony!”

Tony leveled an exhausted glare at him. “Are you going to help or are you going to leave?”

Bucky had no issue meeting his glare with one of his own. He crossed his arms. “I’m going to go get us some food, and you’re going to eat.”

“So, both, then?” He turned back towards the monitor and left Bucky to do whatever he wanted.

* * *

Hours passed and eventually even Bucky gave up for the night.

“So, is this new, or is this just how you’ve been living for the last couple of years?”

Tony jumped at the sound of Bruce’s voice. He leapt from his chair and scrambled across the lab to pull the other man into a hug.

Bruce laughed and held one arm up, keeping something from getting caught between them.

“What’s that?” He moved back enough to see what Bruce was holding.

“A peace offering, I hope.”

Tony snorted at the 6-pack of beer Bruce had brought down. “Shitty beer?”

“You call it shitty, I call it… Well, also shitty. But out in space, I remembered how this stuff got me through grad school—the first time—and I got kind of nostalgic.”

“Why would I need a peace offering from you?”

“Well, given that you’ve been hiding from everyone and, according to Bucky and Pepper, losing your goddamn mind, I figured I should apologize for dropping Lokes on you.”

Tony’s nose wrinkled and he stepped away, leading Bruce towards the back of the lab. “Lokes? Really?” He looked Bruce over after flopping down on the couch. “Are you two seriously friends now?”

Bruce shrugged and sat down next to him. “Friendly, at least.”

“Enough that you want to keep him safe?”

“Enough that I’m confident he won’t hurt anyone I care about.”

Tony took one of the offered bottles and took a sip. “Jesus, that’s terrible. Which degree did this help you with?”

“Biomedical engineering.”

He snorted.

“Shut up. I was in my 20s and broke. You take what you can get in those circumstances.”

Tony stuck his tongue out before taking another drink. It was still pretty terrible.

They reminisced about their graduate school experiences for a bit before Tony couldn’t keep from asking, “So, how was space?”

“From what I remember, worse than the beer.” He paused. “Actually, I think I had some pretty good beer on Sakaar. Or, Hulk did. Same difference, really.”

“Really?”

Bruce shrugged. “Sure? I mean, we’re the same person, aren’t we?”

“Not according to you in any conversation before this one. What happened out there?”

“Got stuck on a weird planet as Hulk for over a year. It kind of changed how I feel about the big guy.”

“You what? Are you ok?”

“I’m here, aren’t I?”

“Ok. No. Go back. What happened?”

Bruce smiled down at his bottle. “Do you have some not shitty booze down here?”

Tony’s hand came up to his chest. “Bruce, I’m offended that you even feel the need to ask. What are you in the mood for?”

“If I’m gonna tell you this story, I want your most outrageously priced scotch.”

He sent U upstairs to retrieve their drink.

True to his word, Bruce wouldn’t start the story until he had a glass in hand and had taken a sip.

“Alright, so. You remember Thor showing up, going on about a hostage situation and desperately needing my help, right?”

Tony nodded. “Yeah.”

“And how there were children’s lives at stake, and that he wanted to try to keep things quiet and low-key to keep the kidnappers from panicking and making any stupid choices.”

“Right.”

“Well.” Bruce huffed out a laugh. “I mean, there _ were _ hostages, so he wasn’t really lying. Except that the kidnapper wasn’t some evil mastermind or god or anything. It was just some drunk jackass that, honestly, wanted a good bar fight.”

Tony stared, his drink momentarily forgotten. “What?”

“Yeah! So I agreed to go up to _ space _ thinking that Thor needed my help outthinking someone. Nope. He needed Hulk to kick this guy’s ass.”

“Why did he need Hulk? Thor’s strong as fuck on his own.”

“Because the guy refused to fight a god. He said they were cheaters.”

Tony shook his head. “Jesus. What’d you do?”

“Well, there were children in danger. And other people. And… what was I supposed to do? Someone had to help, and I was there. So Hulk kicked his ass and, I assume, made him regret his life choices.”

“And then?”

“And then… things get kind of fuzzy. Hulk was apparently way less concerned about being on an alien planet than I was, and he got separated from Thor. There is the possibility he stole a plane.”

“Can Hulk pilot a plane? Can _ you _ pilot a plane?”

“No! I have no idea how he got from the planet Thor took me to, to Sakaar.”

“And Sakaar was?”

Bruce let out a long sigh before downing the rest of his glass and motioning to U to refill it. “A nightmare.”

Tony followed suit before remembering that Bruce was going to need a lot more alcohol than he would to get drunk. _ Oh well. _ He probably needed it anyway. “Go on?”

“Hulk loved it. It was some like… gladiator bullshit, I don’t know. But suddenly I’m back, and Thor is there, telling me he’d lost track of me for over a year. And that… his dad died, and his older sister was wreaking havoc, and boy was he glad to see me because he needed all the help he could get.”

He wasn’t sure if Bruce was bitter or not as he told the rest of the story. Teaming up with Loki and Val. Seeing Asgard. (“I wasn’t there for long, but from what I could tell, it was pretty amazing, Tony.”) Fighting Thor’s sister, Hela. Who, and what, Surtur was.

“So Hela and Surtur wrecked Asgard?”

“There was a lot of fire happening, I think,” Bruce told him, four glasses in. “I really only get flashes but I definitely remember there being fire.”

“What happened to Odin? You said he died?”

“I’m not really sure. When it comes up, Thor just kind of gets quiet and moody and says that what happened, happened. And Loki just gets this weird look before doing that thing he does where he likes to pretend he doesn’t have emotions.”

“That’s a thing he does?”

“Yeah, it’s kind of unnerving. At first. Then it’s obvious that he’s actually just… upset or something, and doesn’t want anyone else to know.”

Tony hummed thoughtfully. “And Thor’s king now?”

“Yep.”

He swirled the drink in his glass for a moment. “Thor destroyed that Obedience Disk thing.”

“Good.”

“Is it?”

Bruce raised an eyebrow at him. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

“Because… Look, it’s not like I like the idea of torturing people. But I’m starting to think that might have been my one real shot at controlling Loki.”

The other man sighed before shifting so that he was leaning more heavily against Tony. “I know you don’t trust him. Or me, I guess—”

“Bruce—”

“No, I get it. But I promise I wouldn’t have brought him here if I thought he was going to do anything. I really think you’re overreacting to this.

“Maybe you’re just underreacting. He seems like the kind to play the long game, you know?”

Bruce shook his head. “Nah. He’s too much like you.”

“Excuse you.”

“I mean it. He’d get bored trying to play a long con.”

Tony frowned. He didn’t exactly like being compared to Loki. He liked the possibilities that implied even less. But he was also too drunk and too tired to really let his mind settle on it.

“I have another question.”

“Just one?”

“Why did you have my clothes?”

Bruce’s laugh was louder than Tony had expected and he jerked back in surprise. “Wha?”

“I’m sorry. Uh, when Thor first got me, I totally grabbed the wrong go-bag by mistake.” He turned and grinned up at Tony. “Also, your pants are awful, man.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Finally getting that sweet, sweet E rating. :P


	4. I'll find out wherever you are / I'll find where your base is

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy! A few notes!  
First, it's finally time for an additional warning:  
This is one of two scenes in this fic that have some mildly dubious consent. (Considerably less dubious than it was in the original version, though.) More details (and a scene summary) about said dubious consent in the endnotes, so as not to spoil those who aren't concerned.  
In the same scene, there's also some heavy alcohol use and depressive symptomology at play.
> 
> additional tag: frottage, handjobs, earning that E rating. (or at least an M rating with this bit).
> 
> Next note: I, personally, adore Steve Rogers. Loki feels very differently, and so his characterization is colored by that.
> 
> Last note: This chapter is special and one of the scenes (the one with the above warnings) is shown from both Tony and Loki's POVs. Because I couldn't decide who to go with, and I wrote out both, and then I REALLY couldn't decide, because both of their experiences with it are pretty important.  
So... Bonus porn. Enjoy. :P

**Loki**

“You really think it’ll be fine to leave him alone like that?”

Loki paused the television show he was watching and listened. The elevator was slowing. And, thus far, no one had ever gotten off on the floors surrounding the one he resided on. Which meant he was likely about to have visitors.

“I don’t know. I hope so. He said he was just gonna go lay down, and that he’d let me know if he needed anything.”

He recognized the second voice as Bucky. Who was with him? He needed the first man to speak again.

“Because we all know how good Tony is at actually asking for help if he needs it.”

_ Rogers. _

As he expected, the elevator stopped outside his door. What did they want? And what was that about Stark? Was he ill? The man’s panic and fear had been strong enough that Loki could smell it any time he was upstairs. He wouldn’t be surprised if Stark had actually managed to work himself until he’d collapsed.

Before he could ruminate on the possibilities any longer, he heard the sound of metal on wood. Bucky knocking on the door. When it didn’t immediately open, he allowed himself a small smile as he crossed to open the door.

In his confusion, he hadn’t noticed that Pup was also with them. She jolted towards the door as soon as he opened it, and was only stopped by Bucky’s legs on either side of her. She was doing her very best to get closer to Loki. 

But rather than reach out and pet her, or even give her the fond look she deserved, he looked over Rogers. While Bucky _ might _be able to be counted as an ally, Rogers couldn’t be. Once he was reasonably sure the man was unarmed, he looked to Bucky.

“Bucky?”

“Hey.” He was smiling and seemed to be trying to exude calming energy. “I figured we would stop by and see how you’re doing. Plus, Pup wanted to say hi.”

Loki looked down and watched Pup squirm with excitement for a moment before opening the door wider. 

As soon as she was free, Pup shot into the room, her entire back end shaking with how hard her tail was wagging. He watched Rogers and Bucky enter the room from the corner of his eye while he knelt down to pet her, and allow her to lick his hands and arms. _ “It’s good to see you too, little one,” _ he whispered, quiet enough to keep the humans from noticing how he could drop the AllSpeak. 

Eventually, Pup seemed content with how much affection she’d showered Loki with and began to sniff around the room, her tail still wagging excitedly with each new smell.

Loki stood. “It’s been a while, Captain Rogers.”

The man was standing straight, his entire body tense. “Just Steve is fine.”

“Just Steve, then,” he agreed. “And to what do I owe the pleasure of your company?” He didn’t see any particular reason to hide his distaste for the man in front of him. He’d seen exactly what kind of things tended to happen with men like _ Steve _ leading the way. All galant and stalwart. So very very certain that they were correct and _ right _ in all things. 

“We just figured you might be lonely. We don’t need anything.” Bucky said.

So he was being checked up on, then.

Steve was looking around the room, careful not to turn his back on Loki. “What were you watching?” He asked when he saw the paused television.

“It’s called _ “Vikings”. _ It’s… amusing. To see what has been passed down as history, and what has fallen to the wayside as mere legend.”

Pup’s attention had been caught by Loki’s journal. It wasn’t Midgardian, after all, and so it smelled unlike anything she might have encountered before. His thoughts and spells gleamed in the reflection of the light on the ink. When he saw Bucky shift closer to get a better look at it, he snapped it away to his personal aether. The fact that Bucky had no hope of being able to read what was written didn’t make him feel any better about it being seen.

Rather than getting offended, or distressed, Bucky instead laughed at the shocked expression on Pup’s face. He was grinning when he faced Loki. “How do you do that?” He tried to imitate the gesture Loki had made. “The magic?”

“Sorcery,” he corrected by rote, before remembering that the mortal wouldn’t care about the difference. 

“Oh. Sorcery, sorry. Then, what you do… is it not magic?”

Loki blinked. Bucky sat down on the couch, not realizing that he’d completely destroyed Loki’s expectations.

After a brief hesitation, he sat down opposite of Bucky and explained, in simplistic terms, the differences. He couldn’t help but smile at Bucky’s rapt attention and curiosity. 

“May I ask you a question, in turn?” Bucky nodded. Steve sat down next to Bucky, his hand drifting over to scratch at Pup’s head.

“Why do you wear armor on only one arm?”

He hadn’t expected his question to be met with a surprised laugh. “Sorry, sorry, that’s not funny. Or, it is, but.” Bucky was smiling. “Um, it’s not armor. A long time ago, my arm was… damaged. Beyond repair. This is a prosthesis.”

Loki’s mind stumbled over the word. _ Prosthesis? _ The AllSpeak struggled to translate it. The spell finally settled on, _ fake, false, replacement. _ But that didn’t make any sense. He’d seen replacement limbs, and they weren’t capable of anything like Bucky’s arm could do.

“Prosthesis?” He asked. Hopefully, the human could explain it better than an ancient spell.

“Yeah.” Bucky tapped against the shoulder of the ‘prosthesis’ and looked up to meet Loki’s eyes as he… He pulled the arm away from his body. The man was giggling at whatever stunned expression Loki hadn’t been able to keep from surfacing. 

Loki scooted to the edge of the couch as Bucky reattached his arm. He was reaching out before he realized it. One he did, he froze. “May I?”

“Yeah, here.” Bucky stood and moved to sit next to Loki. Loki caught the way Steve’s expression tightened—not that he’d ever really relaxed. 

He chose to ignore Steve for the moment, and let his fingers ghost over the smooth metal. “You can still move it. You _ lifted me _ with it.”

“Mmhmm,” Bucky agreed, opening and closing his fist, and moving so that the plates that made up the arm moved as well.

“Can you still feel?”

“Yup!”

Replacing a hand with a hook, or a leg with a stick, that was one thing. This was beyond his experience. He pushed a bit of warmth into Bucky’s arm, just to see the surprised look on his face.

“Is that magic? Or sorcery, or whatever?”

“Yes.” He pulled the magic back. He should have asked, he realized. This human had no way to defend against his magic or spells if he wanted to. “Sorry. I was… curious. It’s amazing what you mortals are able to create.

“In Asgard, we can heal many injuries but things like the loss of a limb, those are final. My fa—Odin. He lost an eye during combat many eons ago and wore a patch. It was a badge of honor, to show how courageously he fought.”

Well, that was how the tale went, at least. But given that he’d never gotten the full story from _ anyone _ regarding that battle, Loki had his reservations about the veracity of it. 

“Honestly, most of our prosthetics aren’t anywhere near this good,” Bucky told him. “Tony made this one, though. And we’ve started mass-producing them. So that anyone who needs one can get one.”

That gave Loki pause. “Stark produced this?” He’d seen the technology Stark had created, but still, this came as a surprise. From what he’d seen, the man was more than skilled at creating weapons and destruction. Death followed his inventions, not…

“Mass producing?” He asked, deciding to concern himself with the Stark Question another time.

“Uh, yeah.” Bucky pulled something from his pocket. A phone. After a few taps, there was a video playing on the small screen. There were machines hard at work creating new limbs, and Bucky explained the process. Loki got the impression he was simplifying it, but he wasn’t sure if it was for Loki’s benefit, or because Bucky didn’t understand the specifics himself.

“Why do these,” he gestured at the video, “look like skin, while your arm is made of metal?”

“I have one that looks like skin, too. I just prefer this one.”

Loki nodded. A badge of honor. Something that made him _ other, _but also something that he took pride in. He wondered how Bucky had lost his arm. He didn’t seem the type for battle. But if he was friendly with Steve…

“How do you and Steve know each other?” He asked. “You weren’t there when—” He cut himself off. The conversation was going well. There was no need to bring _ that _ up.

“We grew up together,” came Steve’s clipped reply. Loki hadn’t expected the other man to speak. 

He furrowed his brow at Steve. “How can that be? You grew up many years before anyone else was born.”

“How would you know that?” Steve snapped, every bit of peace that man had managed to find despite Loki’s company vanished.

“Barton told me.”

That answer obviously wasn’t the one Steve had wanted, but Bucky answered his question before the tension could rise.

“We grew up at the same time. Steve was frozen in ice when his plane crashed into the ocean. And I was frozen by… An enemy.”

Loki considered that. And Bucky’s careful phrasing. What sort of enemy would freeze someone for years? To what purpose?

“And so, many years later, you were reunited,” he mused. There was a certain poetry in that, he decided. 

“But… how did you survive being frozen? It was my understanding that temperatures that low would be fatal for a human.”

“Normally it would be. Steve and I had some help. Back in the—”

“Bucky, he doesn’t need to know that!” Steve looked ready to throw himself between the two of them. 

“What’s he gonna do, Stevie? Recreate it?” Bucky rolled his eyes.

“There was a war when we were younger. And some scientists decided to try to create the perfect soldier. They made a serum, and Steve was the one they gave it to.”

Loki looked over Steve again, taking in that new information. They tried to create a perfect soldier? He didn’t think they’d done a particularly good job, but it was possible that humans looked for something different in their soldiers.

“Meanwhile, I got captured by the enemy,” Bucky continued. “They gave me—well, they gave a bunch of people—their own version of the serum. I was just the only one to live through it.” Then Bucky had been a soldier as well? Loki struggled to picture the man beside him wielding any sort of weapon. 

“Steve rescued me, though. And we fought together.” He was frowning now. “But I fell. Everyone thought I was dead. But the people who captured me the first time. They found me. And they brainwashed me to fight on their side.” Loki’s eyes widened at that. The certainty with which Bucky had asked if _ he’d _been controlled, or brainwashed, suddenly made sense. “They were the ones who kept me frozen until I was needed.”

“I see.” Loki tried to focus on what Bucky was saying, but part of him had to wonder: just what had he looked like during the invasion? What was so different now that made it so apparent to Bucky? Something about his eyes? That’s what Bucky had said. That they’d been blue.

“So, what about you?” Bucky asked, breaking apart his thoughts.

“Me?”

“Are you immortal?”

“Can’t be,” Steve interjected. “The Hulk didn’t do much damage, but he was bleeding after they went head to head.”

“Just Hulk,” Loki corrected. “It’s his name.” Steve looked startled at the correction. “But you are correct, I was not unscathed,” he agreed. “Why do you think I was still here when you lot arrived to arrest me?”

He turned back to Bucky. “Immortal… Maybe. But I’m not invulnerable. I can be injured. Potentially killed, although it’s rare for my kind to die. I was born long before the first humans came into existence, but by my people’s standards I’m still young.”

Pup let out a sigh of frustration. She’d been nudging at Steve to try to get him to return to petting her.

Loki held his hand out towards her, _ “Here.” _

At his offer, she leapt over the coffee table between them and landed in Loki’s lap. He would have laughed but she was once again licking at his face.

“Jesus, Pup!” Bucky grabbed her collar and pulled her out of Loki’s face. “I’m sorry. She’s always friendly, but not normally _ this _ friendly.” Pup contented herself by curling up in Loki’s lap as he stroked over her fur and scratched beneath her collar.

“It’s fine,” he said quietly. “I really don’t mind.”

“Are there dogs?” Bucky asked. “Where you come from, I mean?”

“Yes, of a sort. Though, they’re more like wolves. We primarily bred them to aid in hunting, but many were still allowed into our homes, and even seen as parts of the family.” His fingers stilled for a moment.

Bucky reached over and scratched at Pup’s hip. “I think that’s how dogs got started here, too. It’s weird what things are different and what’s the same.”

After a moment Loki nodded. “I spent a fair amount of time in the stables as a boy, and I was often around the dogs and horses. I guess you could say I picked up an understanding of them.” He allowed himself a private smile. A joke meant for no one but himself. And Norns did that ache.

“So,” Steve leaned forward, catching Loki’s attention. “Bucky said you were brainwashed during the attack on New York?”

“Jesus Christ, Stevie!” Bucky all but shouted at him.

Loki’s smile faded. He had started to relax, even with Steve there. That had obviously been a mistake. He kept his expression even as he replied, “Yes.” It wasn’t technically true, but it was close enough.

Steve nodded and seemed to accept his answer. “I can’t say I trust you, but if what you went through was anything like Bucky… I at least understand.”

_ You don’t. _ Loki didn’t say. _ You can’t. And if you had even the slightest idea, I’d kill you to force your silence. _

“I don’t expect your trust, Steve,” he said instead. “I’ve done nothing to earn it, yet. But I want you to understand that I have no further ambitions towards ruling your planet.”

_ “Go,” _ he whispered to Pup.

She let out a sigh of discontent, but followed his request and crawled off the couch. She whined and scratched at the door.

Bucky looked confused by her behavior for a moment before standing. “I guess that’s our cue. Thanks for letting us hang out.”

Loki stood and gave them a careful smile. “The pleasure was mine. Feel free to stop by again.” 

“I plan to!” Bucky called back as they boarded the elevator and the door shut.

* * *

_ Something _was happening near the top of the building. Although he couldn’t make out the words, Loki could make out the panicked tones and smells from his prison. Even the storm raging outside wasn’t enough to block everything out.

He listened as the elevator stopped just below his floor, followed by muffled yells of frustration. He had been curled up on the couch with his journal but sat up properly when he heard his name, followed by a _ ping _ from the computer Peter had given him.

Loki navigated to the screen that showed his emails. Peter was the only one who ever emailed him, so it was no surprise that it was the same this time.

> _ Loki, _
> 
> _ Mr. Stark is in his penthouse. He’s locked all of us out. We’re worried. I’m worried. I’m so scared. _
> 
> _ I know you hate us. And that you hate him. You have every right to. But please. _
> 
> _ Please help him. _
> 
> _ -Peter _

He stared at the screen, reading and rereading the short message. What was going on up there? Stark lived in the penthouse, didn’t he? What did it matter if he’d locked himself away up there?

Then he remembered the bit of conversation he’d overheard that morning. He’d thought that perhaps Stark was ill. Was he refusing treatment?

Loki leaned back into the couch cushions and crossed his arms. So what if something happened to Stark? If his jailor was gone, all the better.

But Peter was afraid. And had reached out to Loki for help. Surely he was the boy’s last resort. 

Wasn’t he?

He sighed and dragged a hand through his hair. He realized that his choice had been made the second that Peter had decided to send him this email. He was going to try to help. He didn’t want to let the boy down.

Besides, if something _ did _ happen to Stark, Loki didn’t actually know what would be done with him. He might be a prisoner there, but he was fed and given shelter. Even entertainment. Maybe even a chance at… well, not friends. But socialization. Anywhere else Thor might stick him would likely be worse.

He sent a quick reply.

> _ Peter, _
> 
> _ I’ll see what I can do. _
> 
> _ -L _

* * *

**Tony**

A storm raged on outside. _ A deluge _. That’s what Jarvis would have called it. Lightning broke across the sky, and thunder followed immediately. Close enough that Tony felt the room shake. He was in one of the tallest buildings in New York City, during one of the worst thunderstorms to hit the area in living memory. Objectively not a good place to be.

He didn’t care.

Pepper had finally left him. 

He’d deserved it, of course. Really, it had only ever been a matter of time.

She loved him, but…

But.

But he was awful. Inattentive. Forgetful. Obsessive. Paranoid. Broken. Trash.

It didn’t matter that she’d never said any of those things. She’d never needed to. They both knew them to be true. 

And now, when she’d really needed him, where had he been? Not by her side, while she and her family said goodbye to her uncle. Not where he’d promised to be. He’d been so lost in his work that he hadn’t even realized he’d missed the fucking funeral until she had come down to his lab that morning.

She hadn’t even been angry. Just resigned.

_ “You’re never present anymore, Tony.” She sighed. _

_ “What do you mean? I’m right here!” _

_ “No.” She reached up and gently tapped his temple. “You’re there. All the time.” _

He took another long swallow of his scotch. He couldn’t even taste it anymore. Not that it mattered. Nothing mattered. He certainly didn’t.

Tony’s spiral of self-loathing was interrupted by a high pitched noise. He was too drunk to react properly and only stared up at the ceiling, trying to place what the sound might be warning him about.

It was an alarm, but not one that immediately sprang to mind. Which meant it had to be new?

_ Loki. _

Loki had left his goddamned room. He closed his eyes. Of course, the son of a bitch would choose _ now _ to start shit. He’d just been biding his time and—

_ Footsteps. _ His eyes snapped open to find Loki standing in the room with him. A flash of lightning illuminated his decidedly unimpressed expression. He tried to imagine what this must look like to him. Tony curled up on the couch, drink in hand. No lights on, no music, no TV, nothing. Just Tony, drinking in the dark, listening to the storm.

“What the fuck?” He snarled. “How the fuck did you even get up here?” He tried to push himself up, but the world swayed and he was forced to drop back down.

“Well, I did try the elevator first,” Loki drawled. “But apparently that’s not allowed. So I used my magic instead.”

“Great job. Go use your magic and fuck back off.”

Loki looked frustrated, which was ridiculous. He was the one trespassing. “I’m not here to harm you, Stark. Although if I were, it would be quite easy in your current state.”

Tony couldn’t tell if he was being threatened or mocked. “Then why are you here? What do you want?”

“I’m here for Peter. He’s worried about you. Terrified for you. He asked me for help.”

Guilt wracked Tony’s chest. He’d scared Peter. He’d scared him badly enough that he turned to _ Loki _ for help.

“Besides,” he gestured towards the glass in Tony’s hand. “I believe you offered me a drink.”

Tony blinked. _ What? _ When would he have possibly—Oh, right. He’d done it right before Loki had tossed him out the fucking window. 

He laughed at the absurdity of it. “Fine. Fuckin’... You want to have a drink with me? Fine. Let’s drink.” It might be nice to not be the only one drunk and miserable for once.

Loki sat down on the couch next to Tony. Right next to him. Which… why? There were plenty of other places to sit. Even other places where the bottle of scotch would still be in easy reach.

“What are you doing?”

“Getting myself a drink.” As if that answered what Tony was actually asking. He watched as a glass appeared in Loki’s hand. Tony was pretty sure he didn’t even need to reach across him and pour a drink from the bottle. He could have just magicked it up if he’d wanted.

They were silent as Loki drank his first glass. “Tell me, Stark,” he started after he’d poured himself a second. “Do you often wallow in self-pity like this?”

That was rich, coming from Loki, especially after what he’d seen a few days ago. “Don’t you?” He bit out.

“Mmm, I wouldn’t say I do it _ often _,” Loki hedged. “But I’m no stranger to drinking to ignore my problems, that’s true.”

Tony huffed. After that, they continued to drink in silence. It wasn’t a comfortable or companionable silence, no. It was tense and unpleasant. Or, at least that’s how Tony felt. Loki didn’t seem bothered as he watched the rain lash against the windows.

A particularly large bolt of lightning struck something nearby and the resulting thunder shook the room. But it wasn’t the proximity of the storm that got Tony’s attention. It was Loki’s reaction to it.

The man had jumped at the sound. Tony wasn’t sure he’d have noticed if Loki hadn’t been sitting so close, but he was, so he did. It didn’t look like someone simply being startled. It was more than that. But Tony didn’t know what. And not knowing made him uneasy.

“You alright?”

“Fine,” Loki bit out.

“You sure, ‘cause—”

“Shut. Up.” Loki’s hand was on his shoulder, pushing him back against the arm of the couch. He was suddenly closer, somehow, an oddly _ lost _ expression on his face.

“The hell are you—”

The hand not on Tony’s shoulder was suddenly between his legs, palming at him through his jeans. “It seems to me that we could both use a distraction,” Loki said evenly. Like he was just stating a fact or suggesting a place to grab lunch. And not at all like he had his hand on Tony’s dick.

“I think—”

“That’s your problem, Stark. You think too much. Why don’t you take a minute and just _ feel?” _

Tony let out a choked off sound as his body responded to the image Loki painted. Why did that feel so good? It wasn’t like he was a goddamn teenager.

“I…”

Loki paused, his head tilted. “Tell me you want to be alone, and I’ll go.”

“I don’t,” he admitted. He didn’t want to be alone. But that wasn’t the same as wanting… whatever the hell was happening. Was it? What _ was _happening? The night had taken a sharp turn for the weird.

“Do you want me to stop?”

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” Loki echoed. He shifted his hand and Tony let out a decidedly embarrassing groan. 

_ Fuck it, _ Tony decided. Loki really didn’t seem interested in hurting him. And if he had been, it was like he’d said. He’d had the opportunity when he first got here. This would be a weird way to go about it.

“Ok.”

“Ok?”

“Yeah, ok. Let’s… distract each other, or whatever.”

Loki let out a small laugh, then made quick work of undoing Tony’s jeans. Tony’s head fell back as long cool fingers wrapped around his dick. Loki didn’t seem to be in any particular hurry as he stroked him. Something was easing the way for the slide of skin on skin, and maybe later Tony would be concerned about what it was, but right then he couldn’t find it in himself to care.

“Why are you so good at this?”

“Should I not be? Or are you just upset to know that yours isn’t the first cock I’ve had in my hand?”

“Fuck you,” Tony grumbled, pushing up into Loki’s grip.

Loki chuckled. “Oh, no, I don’t trust you near enough for something like that, Stark.”

Tony let out a startled noise. “What?”

“You heard me.”

“Do you ever shut up?”

“Not generally, no.” 

Loki’s hands were suddenly gone, and Tony let out a whine that he would deny until his dying day. 

“Settle down, I’m not going anywhere,” Loki chastised him. 

He tried to sit up to get an idea of what Loki was doing, only to get shoved back down again. He got his answer moments later anyway when Loki manhandled his position until—Holy shit. That was Loki’s cock sliding against his own. And Loki’s fingers wrapping around both of them. He couldn’t even be bothered by the fact that Loki was pinning his arms down with his legs.

“Good?”

“Yeah,” Tony breathed the word. It was good, too. Loki was big and hard and with his hand around them, there was just enough friction that—fuck. He wasn’t going to last. Even with Loki all but looming over him like a predator. Maybe _ because _ of that.

“Shit, I’m…”

“Already?”

“Fuck, I hate you.”

“And yet you’re still going to come for me,” Loki purred.

Tony gaped up at him. They both knew it was true, and it wasn’t like Tony really wanted to prove him wrong. 

Still, Tony wiggled one of his hands free so that he could join it with Loki’s. He’d come for himself, damn it. And if Loki got off too, well, that was fine. 

Loki was managing to smirk even as they stroked and thrust against each other, each chasing a release they wouldn’t credit the other with. Distantly Tony recognized this as some of the strangest sex he could remember having. 

Which didn’t make his orgasm any less satisfying. Loki coming just a few seconds after he did didn’t hurt, either.

As soon as Loki caught his breath, he stood up and stretched. With a quick flick of his hand, all traces of their activities disappeared.

“What the?”

“Just a quick spell to clean up,” Loki explained—as if that was an actual explanation. “Personally, I’m not terribly interested in walking around smelling like you, if I can avoid it.”

Tony’s heart was still working on slowing back down. “Feeling’s mutual.”

Loki glanced back at him. “Do you feel better?” His mocking tone was gone.

“Um.” Did he? Not really, no. But he felt tired. A normal sort of tired, as opposed to the insomnia-driven panicked exhaustion that had plagued him for the last few weeks. “Maybe a little?”

Loki held his eyes for a moment and then was gone.

Tony stared up at the ceiling, taking in the sounds of the rain as it started to slow down.

“JARVIS, unmute.”

“Sir! Are you alright?”

“No. But… I will be. Um.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Delete the last fucking… 30 minutes of video and audio from this room, would you, buddy?”

“Of course, Sir, but—”

“And turn off the lockdown protocol. Let people know I’m ok and all that.” He frowned. “Tell them that I’m sorry. And that I’m actually going to bed.” He chewed on his lip before adding, “I’m gonna take a shower first, but if I’m not actually in bed and at least trying to sleep within the hour, you have permission to send whoever you want up here to harass me, alright?”

“Very good, Sir. Is there anything else?”

“No. Wait, yes. I’m sorry to you too, JARVIS.”

The AI didn’t respond immediately. “Your apology is appreciated, Mr. Stark.”

_ That’s fair, _ he decided as he dragged himself off of the couch.

* * *

* * *

**4.5 Alternate Take**

**Loki**

_ Something _was happening near the top of the building. Although he couldn’t make out the words, Loki could make out the panicked tones and smells from his prison. Even the storm raging outside wasn’t enough to block everything out.

He listened as the elevator stopped just below his floor, followed by muffled yells of frustration. He had been curled up on the couch with his journal but sat up properly when he heard his name, followed by a _ ping _ from the computer Peter had given him.

Loki navigated to the screen that showed his emails. Peter was the only one who ever emailed him, so it was no surprise that it was the same this time.

> _ Loki, _
> 
> _ Mr. Stark is in his penthouse. He’s locked all of us out. We’re worried. I’m worried. I’m so scared. _
> 
> _ I know you hate us. And that you hate him. You have every right to. But please. _
> 
> _ Please help him. _
> 
> _ -Peter _

He stared at the screen, reading and rereading the short message. What was going on up there? Stark lived in the penthouse, didn’t he? What did it matter if he’d locked himself away up there?

Then he remembered the bit of conversation he’d overheard that morning. He’d thought that perhaps Stark was ill. Was he refusing treatment?

Loki leaned back into the couch cushions and crossed his arms. So what if something happened to Stark? If his jailor was gone, all the better.

But Peter was afraid. And had reached out to Loki for help. Surely he was the boy’s last resort. 

Wasn’t he?

He sighed and dragged a hand through his hair. He realized that his choice had been made the second that Peter had decided to send him this email. He was going to try to help. He didn’t want to let the boy down.

Besides, if something _ did _ happen to Stark, Loki didn’t actually know what would be done with him. He might be a prisoner there, but he was fed and given shelter. Even entertainment. Maybe even a chance at… well, not friends. But socialization. Anywhere else Thor might stick him would likely be worse.

He sent a quick reply.

> _ Peter, _
> 
> _ I’ll see what I can do. _
> 
> _ -L _

Loki pushed himself to his feet. The door to his suite opened, but that was no surprise. It had always opened. He stepped up to the elevator and pressed the arrow facing upwards. _ That _door didn’t open. He hadn’t really expected it to, but Stark had gotten upset the last time he’d used magic to travel through the building.

“Not going to make an exception for me so I can go save your master, JARVIS?” 

“Mr. Stark is not my master,” the voice corrected him. “And you are unauthorized to use the elevator without explicit permission and an escort.”

He hummed. “You _ can’t _ let anyone up, can you? Otherwise, Peter wouldn’t have asked me for help to begin with.”

JARVIS didn’t reply. As Loki understood it, JARVIS was part of a computer program. Was he capable of petty behavior, or was he forbidden from divulging weaknesses in his programming?

Either way, it didn’t matter. An inability to use the elevator wasn’t going to stop him. Yggdrasil wouldn’t deny him access, after all. 

Even amongst Yggdrasil’s branches, he could hear the alarm going off. JARVIS couldn’t do anything to help Stark, but he could still warn everyone else that Loki had left his prison. That was interesting if nothing else.

He wasn’t sure what to expect when he landed in Stark’s living space. It looked much like it had the last time he’d been there, albeit much darker. It took him a moment to find Stark. Lightning flashed and illuminated the crumbled shape of the man, curled in on himself on the couch. There was a bottle of something on the table in front of him. He sniffed the air. Scotch. Stark was holding a glass of the same close to his body.

The human’s eyes were wide with fear that quickly shifted to rage. “What the fuck? How the fuck did you even get up here?” He tried to push himself up, but was too unsteady to manage it, and collapsed back into his corner.

Stark had definitely pushed himself too far.

“Well, I did try the elevator first,” Loki drawled. “But apparently that’s not allowed, so I used my magic instead.”

“Great job,” Stark snapped. “Go use your magic and fuck back off.”

Loki let out an irritated sigh. “I’m not here to harm you, Stark,” he explained. “Although, if I were, it _ would _ be quite easy in your current state.”

“Then why are you here? What do you want?”

He was already regretting his decision to help. “I’m here for Peter. He’s worried about you. Terrified for you. He asked me for help.”

Stark looked gutted by those words. Good. He should feel badly for upsetting Peter. The poor kid didn’t know any better but to idolize the wreck of a human in front of him.

“Besides,” he continued, gesturing towards the glass in Tony’s hand. “I believe you offered me a drink.”

That was met with obvious confusion. But if Loki was going to have to spend time with this human and keep him from hurting himself, he was getting something out of the deal for himself. And he suspected that Stark had expensive tastes.

After realization must have struck, Stark let out a frantic laugh. “Fine,” he wheezed. “Fuckin’... You want to have a drink with me? Fine. Let’s drink.”

That had gone better than Loki had expected it to. He wasn’t inclined to complain. Instead, he crossed the rest of the way across the room and settled onto the couch next to Stark. He made a show of weaving a glass into existence and leaning into Stark’s personal space to pour himself a drink. 

“What are you doing?”

“Getting myself a drink,” he offered the half-truth.

He knew the closeness was unsettling for the human, but that was fine. He was listening to his heartbeat, the strength of his pulse, his breathing. His pulse was elevated, his heart working overtime as it beat inside his chest. He was also breathing harder than Loki would have expected from a human. He wasn’t certain what sort of temperature range was normal for Stark, but he seemed exceptionally warm to Loki.

Of course, all of those factors could be attributed to the alcohol in his system as easily as any illness.

Loki remained silent as he drank his first glass. He focused on what he could sense of Stark’s physical state. He _ seemed _ fine. Just inebriated. 

So he likely wasn’t ill, then.

“Tell me, Stark,” he asked after he poured himself a second glass. “Do you often wallow in self-pity like this?”

Stark bristled next to him. “Don’t you?” He snapped.

Ah. Right, he was under constant surveillance. Of course Stark would have witnessed that. “Mmm, I wouldn’t say I do it _ often _, but I’m no stranger to drinking to ignore my problems. That’s true.”

The human scoffed and turned his attention back on his drink. He fidgeted and shifted every few moments, trying to create additional space between himself and Loki. 

Lightning struck nearby. The smell of ozone and the sound of the electricity splitting the air left Loki breathless. He had jerked so hard at the overwhelming sense of fear that several drops of his scotch had sloshed free from his glass.

“You alright?” Stark asked, sounding wary. And maybe, unless Loki was imagining it, a little bit concerned. He was almost certainly imagining it.

“Fine,” he bit out.

“You sure, ‘cause—”

Loki set his glass on the table. “Shut. Up.” He hissed. He shoved Tony’s shoulder and pushed him back against the arm of the couch. This wouldn’t end well, he knew. But he’d be damned before he let his fear control him. He wouldn't let anyone or anything control him.

“The hell are you—” Stark looked more surprised than anything when Loki dropped his free hand down between the other man’s legs.

“It seems to me that we could both use a distraction,” he suggested. 

The human still looked bewildered, but Loki could feel his body respond all the same. “I think—”

“That’s your problem, Stark. You think too much. Why don’t you take a minute and just _ feel?” _And maybe Loki needed to stop thinking just as much as Stark did.

Stark bit off the pleased noise he’d started to make. Physically speaking, it was obvious that at least part of him found the idea appealing. 

“I…”

Loki paused at the distress in that syllable. “Tell me you want to be alone, and I’ll go,” he whispered.

Stark swallowed. “I don’t,” he admitted, shaking his head.

He didn’t want to be alone, or he didn’t want any of this?

“Do you want me to stop?” Loki asked more directly.

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” Loki arched his brow, gently rubbing his palm against Stark’s dick. 

The man let out a groan and jerked against his hand. He closed his eyes and bit his lip before, “Ok.”

“Ok?”

“Yeah, ok. Let’s… distract each other, or whatever.”

Loki chuckled as he quickly dealt with the button and zipper of Stark’s pants. He watched as his head fell back when his fingers wrapped gently around the heated flesh. A quick lubricating spell aided his strokes as he experimented and tracked Stark’s reactions.

“Why are you so good at this?” Stark managed to sound annoyed, even as he started panting.

“Should I not be?” Loki teased. “Or are you just upset to know that yours isn’t the first cock I’ve had in my hand?” 

“Fuck you,” he grumbled.

Loki knew he wasn’t actually being propositioned, but the thought still made him laugh. Although, from the little bit he’d been able to learn about Stark from his internet searches, it was easy to believe that having Stark fuck him might be fun. Still, “Oh, no, I don’t trust you near enough for something like that, Stark.”

He let out a startled squawk. “What?”

“You heard me.”

Stark huffed. “Do you ever shut up?”

Loki smirked. “Not generally, no.”

With one last twist of his wrist, Loki released Stark and sat back on the balls of his feet so that he could deal with his own tight pants. Stark actually whined at the sudden loss of contact.

“Settle down,” Loki chastised him gently, “I’m not going anywhere.”

Stark tried to sit up and Loki just shoved him back down again. He wasn’t sure the human even caught his reproving look, but he didn’t try to get up again. He let Loki reposition them without much of a fuss, even when Loki pinned his arms down under his legs. 

The human let out a pleased sound when Loki slid his cock along Stark’s, thrusting slowly against him. He let out an especially loud gasp when Loki’s hand wrapped around their cocks and resumed stroking them off.

“Good?” He asked.

“Yeah,” Stark let out a long sigh. Even with Loki hovering over him and partially pinning him down, Stark was doing his best to meet Loki’s thrusts with his own. 

“Shit, I’m…”

Loki grinned down at him. “Already?”

“Fuck, I hate you.”

“And yet you’re still going to come for me,” Loki purred, rutting harder and faster against him.

Stark looked affronted at his claim, even though they both knew it was true. He gave Loki as defiant a glare as he could manage while he pulled an arm free and reached between them to grab their cocks.

It was hard to make much of a judgment of Stark’s skills in this situation, but he definitely had some idea of what he was doing. The slow build towards his orgasm that Loki had been planning went out the window when Stark’s rough fingers skirted over the head of his cock.

The human still came first, but Loki only lasted a few seconds longer. They were a mess of sweat and come, and the very _ thought _ of it burned Loki’s nose.

As soon as he’d gotten his breathing back under control he stood and stretched his arms above his head. Cleaning up was just another quick thought.

“What the?” Stark panted from where he was still lying on the couch.

“Just a quick spell to clean up,” he explained. “Personally, I’m not terribly interested in walking around smelling like you, if I can avoid it.”

Stark made a face at him. “Feeling’s mutual.”

He glanced back at the human, listening as his breathing and heartbeat slowed back down. “Do you feel better?” He asked quietly.

“Um.” Stark blinked and flexed his fingers. “Maybe a little?”

Loki held his gaze for a moment before dropping back down to his own floor. He would let Peter know that Stark was fine, he’d take a shower, and then he’d get some sleep. And that would be that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dubious consent:  
After Tony and Pepper break up Tony drinks. A lot. And is deeply depressed and self-loathing. Loki shows up to help (and make sure he isn't actually dying) and they wind up engaging in sexual behavior (handjobs/frottage). While both verbally consent, neither are in a good headspace for proper informed consent.


	5. You can fight, be fearless / You can leave me breathless now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My goal: 2-ish chapters a week. Obviously, that didn't happen this time. (and I'm very certain that other delays will happen many many times before this is done.)  
But usually I have more time to write during the week and this last week I just... didn't. :<  
I'm also taking part in the FrostIron Discord's Mini-Bang so I should _probably_ be working on that too. *cough*
> 
> Additional tags: fingering, sex negotiation, insomnia, less than great coping mechanisms
> 
> Anyway, here's Wonderwall.

**Tony**

He managed to sleep for two hours. Which, admittedly, was better than he’d been doing lately, as far as consecutive time asleep was concerned. It was even enough that JARVIS hadn’t sicced anyone on him when he’d given up after tossing and turning for another two hours and dragged himself out of bed.

Unfortunately, his insomnia continued and he spent the next several days in a sleep-deprived haze. He was also expertly avoiding everyone else. He knew that wasn’t going to help keep them from worrying about him, but he couldn’t stand the idea of seeing anyone, either. Their anger, their pity, their concern. It all felt like too much.

He didn’t deserve any of it.

Tony still tried to get himself to sleep. Nothing was helping. Not alcohol, not melatonin, not even the decidedly unsatisfying orgasms he’d managed. Sure, he might drop off for a few minutes here or there, but nothing substantial. Even more frustrating was that masturbating was just starting to make him feel lonely. 

That night he decided he’d just try to physically exhaust himself. Even if it didn’t help, at least he’d get some exercise in. That was probably good, right?

So he found himself in the least used gym in The Tower. Compared to the others that he kept stocked with state-of-the-art equipment (including some he’d invented himself to keep up with certain super soldiers), calling it a gym was really overstating it. An exercise room might be more accurate.

But it had a punching bag, and that’s all he cared about right then. Well, that and the fact that he was unlikely to be bothered by anyone else while he punched out his frustrations.

He found himself hitting the bag as hard as he could. Hard enough that he was likely to hurt himself. But he didn’t have the energy to worry about that. He was moving and doing something and it didn’t involve having to think. He had found a rhythm, one movement flowing into the next, and his mind was finally quieting down.

He didn't know how long he'd been at it before JARVIS interrupted him. It couldn't have been long—his muscles weren't even starting to ache yet. "Sir—"

"I don't care who's looking for me, JARVIS!" He'd said that enough times that it was an almost reflexive answer now.

"Loki has left his room."

_Goddamn it!_ He regretted turning off the alarm that would have alerted everyone. He didn't want to have to be the one to deal with this. "Fuck! I don't have time for this!"

"It seems to me, Stark, that you have nothing_ but_ time."

Loki was behind him. He whipped around and had to do a double-take at the sight before him. Loki was standing there in gray sweatpants and a white t-shirt. It looked comfortable but… Why?

"What?" He managed, intelligently.

"You're keeping me awake. Do you have any idea how _loud _you are?"

Tony blinked. Is that the sort of thing Loki wore to sleep? He'd never seen him dressed in less than a button-down shirt and slacks. Even when they'd… _distracted each other_ a few days before. Maybe he should have paid more attention to his recordings?

After a moment Tony's brain caught up with what Loki had claimed. "Bullshit you can hear me up there. The floors are soundproofed."

"To human standards, perhaps," Loki allowed. "But I can hear you loud and clear down here."

Tony considered that. As far as he knew Thor didn't have much better hearing than a human did if it was better at all. Certainly not enough to hear through three floors of soundproofing. 

He huffed and turned back towards the bag—keeping Loki in his peripheral vision. Fuck him. He owned the damn building, he could do what he wished in it. "Then magic up some earplugs or something."

One punch in, Loki moved closer to him. "When was the last time you slept?"

"Why do you care?"

"I don't."

"Then go away—back to your room," he corrected quickly. No sense risking Loki "misunderstanding" his words.

"Are you trying to kill yourself, Stark?"

Tony kept hitting the bag. "No. Fuck off."

"Are you sure? Isn't that why you locked yourself away before? Where none of your friends could reach you?"

He didn't stop moving. Honestly, he wasn't sure what his plan had been that night. "I'm not suicidal," he insisted, as much to himself as to Loki.

Loki had circled even closer. "I could help."

"Me kill myself?"

The other man let out a dismissive sound. "Help you sleep. If you die, who knows what that idiot brother of mine might try next."

Tony caught the bag to slow its swinging. "I'm not going to let you use any magic to make me sleep."

Loki let out a frustrated sigh. "It wouldn't be—That wasn't my plan."

"Then what was your—," he narrowed his eyes. "Do you just want to fuck again?"

He shrugged. "Was your plan anything more than just hitting things until you passed out?"

Tony shrugged back before punching the bag again. "Nice try. Sex isn't going to help me sleep."

"No?" Loki questioned. "What then?"

He wouldn't have answered even if he'd known how. He was starting to wonder if he'd ever get a proper night's sleep again.

"Perhaps," Loki started. "Is it because you're alone?" His words felt mocking, but his tone was missing its usual cruel edge.

Still, Tony grit his teeth and seriously considered how close he could get to Loki before he got killed. Would he be able to land at least one punch?

Loki seemed to take his silence as a confirmation of some sort. "Let me help," he insisted.

"If you don't care, why are you offering to help me?"

"Because I would _also_ like to be able to sleep sometime in the next week."

Tony turned to look at him properly. "And?"

"And you aren't the only one who got something out of our last encounter."

He frowned. That was probably the closest to the truth that he was likely to get. But at least Loki wasn't trying to claim altruism.

"So you do want sex, then."

"Yes."

Tony sighed but started pulling his hand wrapping free. It wasn't as if he hadn't _also_ enjoyed the sex. And he was starting to believe that Loki really wasn't planning on harming him. Or if he was, he was going about it in a distressingly roundabout way. So, worst case? He might get a decent orgasm, even if he didn't get any more sleep. And best case: actual rest.

"Alright," he decided. "Why the fuck not?"

Suddenly Loki was in his space, pulling the rest of the wrapping free from his hands. He was close enough for Tony to smell him. Woodsmoke and cinnamon and something he couldn't name.

He wasn't_ that_ much shorter than Loki, but standing that close together Tony had to tilt his head up to keep his eyes locked with Loki's. And something instinctual told him those green eyes were filled with plans of mischief.

"Lead the way, then."

"Huh?" Tony blinked.

"Well, I mean, if you're set on the idea of fucking down here, I suppose I could be convinced," Loki mused.

“Nope.” Tony grabbed Loki’s hand and lead him to the elevator, then through his living space, and into his bedroom.

He watched as Loki looked over the room appraisingly. The large bed in the middle—much too large for just one person. The doors to the closet and restroom. A desk that could interface with JARVIS when an idea struck him in the middle of the night (or whenever he happened to be trying to sleep). The sparse artwork—selected by Pepper—that adorned the walls. It probably wasn’t the most inviting space, but Loki kept any such opinions to himself. Hell, maybe Loki liked the minimalist look? 

Somehow Tony had a hard time picturing that, given how Loki seemed to prefer keeping his handful of possessions out in the open where he could see them.

"So, uh, what's the plan here?" Tony asked. "Just what we did the other day, or…?" Why the hell was he being so awkward? This was sex. Something he was _objectively _good at. 

But it was also sex with Loki, and that kept him feeling wrong-footed. It didn't feel like he could take charge like he usually did. But he also didn't trust Loki enough to let him take the lead, either.

"If you'd like," Loki said. 

"If I'd like? You don't have any stronger opinions than that?"

"Well, I imagine it would be a lot more comfortable for both of us if you got undressed this time."

Tony rolled his eyes but stopped when he reached down to grab the hem of his shirts. Loki had already seen the Arc Reactor, he realized with a start. He already knew that it was embedded in his chest. But that didn't make the idea of baring it any more comfortable.

"I'm keeping my shirt on," he decided, undoing his belt and pulling it free from his jeans.

"Suit yourself," Loki replied dismissively, pulling off the T-shirt he was wearing. 

And Tony… stared. There wasn't really a better word for it. He couldn't help but watch the appearance of the pale expanse of skin and lean musculature that belied just how terrifyingly strong the other man was.

Loki, for his part, didn't seem to mind to attention. "Enjoying the show, Stark?" He didn't wait for Tony to reply before removing his sweatpants as well. 

Even half-hard it was obvious that Loki was fucking _hung._ Which Tony probably could have realized on his own if he'd thought back to when he'd felt Loki's dick, but he'd been kind of distracted right then.

"Yeah," he answered belatedly. He liked what he was seeing very much.

"So why am I the only one actually getting undressed?" Loki smirked at him.

Right! Jeans! Which were now edging towards uncomfortable as his own dick had started taking interest in the situation. 

As soon as he'd kicked his pants and underwear off, Loki gave him an approving nod. "Much better." Then Loki stepped forward, walking Tony back until he hit the bed. Loki gave him an impatient look until Tony scrambled back and laid down in the center of the bed.

Loki settled down next to him, his long fingers lightly stroking over his thighs. Tony's breath caught when he slid a hand under his shirts, but he only followed the trail of hair up to his navel before retreating, lightly scratching him on the way back down. 

And then Loki's hand wrapped around his dick, and Tony couldn't help but jerk up into the touch. The same slick substance as last time seemed to be making another appearance.

"Do… do you just secrete that out of your hand or something?"

Loki blinked in confusion for a moment before laughing. "Don't be stupid, it's a spell," he explained. "Why would I—"

"I don't know! You're an alien!"

Said alien dropped his dick and kept chuckling. "You're ridiculous," he accused. 

"Sorry," Tony muttered.

"Oh, I'm not offended, just amused." Tony was pretty sure Loki was telling the truth. He was still smiling, anyway. "Now it's my turn for a question."

"I also don't secrete lube from anywhere." He paused. "Well, I guess pre-come is—"

"Not about that," Loki interrupted. "Did you sleep at all after we fucked the other day?"

"Um, a little bit? A couple of hours, at least. Why?"

Loki hummed softly. "Because I want to try something, then."

Tony frowned. "Try what? Wasn't the deal that we'd fuck and in return, you'd keep me company so I can sleep?"

"I wouldn't call it a deal, but yes, that is the plan." Loki's hand returned to his dick. "I just also want to see if a better—or at least different—orgasm won't help you sleep longer.”

Tony propped himself up on his elbows. "Different how?"

In lieu of answering with words, Loki's fingers trailed down his cock, over his balls, and came to rest with one just barely pressing against his asshole. 

He would have jerked back if he'd had anywhere to go. "Um." Was all he managed.

Loki's face lit up with unrestrained glee at his reaction. "Oh, this is better than I could have imagined," Loki said. "Have you really_ never?"_

"Never put something up my ass?" Tony clarified. "No. Not unless it was absolutely fucking medically necessary."

"What? Why not?"

"Why? Are you… why would I?"

At least Loki wasn't laughing at him this time. "Because it feels good."

"Agree to disagree on that one." Tony held a hand to stave off whatever Loki might be about to say. "I know that plenty of people _do_ enjoy it. I'm just very sure I'm not one of them."

Loki was wearing a strange expression. "But you're judging that only by what you've experienced with medicinal treatments?"

"Those were pretty eye-opening for me." Tony deadpanned.

"I'm sure, but that would also be a completely different set of circumstances."

Tony sighed. "Why do you care so much?"

"It's pity," Loki explained. "I'm pitying you."

"Because I've never had something up my ass during sex?"

Loki's finger had never left his ass, but he also hadn't applied any more pressure there. "Because you've been depriving yourself of some really incredible orgasms."

Tony huffed. He was being baited. And he knew he was being baited. Worse, it might have even worked, except… His eyes drifted pointedly down to Loki's cock.

The other man noticed. "I'm not suggesting sticking my cock in you. Certainly not tonight, at any rate."

"Then what are you suggesting?" Despite everything, he found himself relaxing the slightest bit.

"Fingering you."

Tony bit his lip. He couldn't believe he was considering this. Sure, he'd slept with plenty of guys who had quite enthusiastically let him know just how much they liked toys and fingers and cock inside them. But…

"If I'm right, and I fucking hate it, we're stopping immediately, no questions asked."

"Of course."

After another moment's hesitation, Tony dropped back down and draped an arm over his eyes. "Ok. We can give it a try."

Loki chuckled softly, and his free hand tapped the inside of his thigh. "Spread your legs a bit more." 

Tony's stomach swooped as he did as he was asked.

"You should also touch yourself."

"Hnn?"

"Your cock, your balls, whatever it is you like best when you're doing this alone."

Tony reached down and wrapped his fingers around his dick. He wasn't really surprised to find that his anxiety hadn't done anything to dissuade his erection.

After what felt like a minute or two of stroking himself, Tony dropped his other arm away from his eyes. "Are you just going to watch me jerk off?"

"It does make for a rather distracting sight," Loki admitted.

He felt warm with pleasure at the idea that Loki enjoyed watching him. He tightened his grip and shifted, aiming to give Loki a better show.

Tony hadn't even really registered that Loki had been massaging a slow circle around his asshole until the tip of his finger slipped inside him. 

His stroking slowed down and he gasped and squirmed, but he didn't stop. After a few seconds, he realized that it didn't really feel much like anything, yet.

"Alright so far?" Loki asked.

"Y-yeah, so far," he agreed.

Then Loki's finger was moving, pulling out and pushing back in, slowly thrusting a little bit deeper each time. Mostly it felt strange. And, thankfully, nothing at all like what he'd experienced before. 

Once Loki's finger was all the way inside him, he stroked against what had to be Tony's prostate and_ oh!_ That's why guys were into this. 

It wasn't often that Tony felt something _new_ and _foreign_ and _good._ He let out a low groan and found himself pushing back against Loki's hand.

"So, you absolutely hate it, don't you?" Loki teased.

"It’s the worst,” he muttered breathlessly. “Don’t you dare stop.” He was alternating between pressing himself back on Loki's fingers and forward into the tight grip of his hand. He could feel his orgasm building and he was torn between wanting to savor the ride and wanting to rush towards it.

"Do you want to see how two fingers feel?" Loki asked.

Tony nodded. Right then he'd probably agree to most things. If Loki had suggested trying to fit his dick inside Tony, he might have even been willing to give it the old college try.

He could actually feel the second finger when it joined the first. There was no pain, just the slightest burn as he adjusted to the larger intrusion. He had the presence of mind to recognize that the drag of the fingers along his hole actually felt pretty good. 

"Fuck," he breathed. "I'm not gonna last."

Loki hummed. "Good, I wasn't expecting you to."

Tony came with a groan, spilling over his hand and onto his shirt.

He winced as he felt Loki slide his fingers free. "There you go. Maybe next time you’ll listen to the thousand-year-old god when I suggest something fun."

"Mrrph."

Loki chuckled and before Tony could even begin to think about getting himself cleaned up, he was already clean. Ok, so, that spell could stay. It was useful.

Tony really had fully intended to reciprocate. He wasn't in the habit of being the only person who came during sex, after all.

Unfortunately, his sleep deprivation caught up to him before he could act on his good intentions.

* * *

Tony woke up gently, for once.

“Good morning, Sir,” JARVIS greeted.

“Morning… Wait, is it morning?” He croaked.

“It is 11:55 AM on May 6th, 2019. It is currently 65°F, and overcast, with a 5% chance of light showers this afternoon.”

He sat up, blinking himself the rest of the way awake. He felt… Oddly rested. Especially considering he’d gotten maybe 8 hours of sleep after being awake for the better part of the week. _Amazing what a little bit of sleep can do._

When he stood up, he realized he was still wearing two shirts, but was otherwise naked. Any confusion about his state of dress quickly vanished as the events of last night crashed back through his mind.

He’d had sex with Loki. Loki, the murderer. The man who’d tried to bring Earth to its knees. Who’d killed over a hundred of people personally, and thousands more by bringing the Chitauri with him.

And Tony had had sex with him. Twice. Well, he’d been really drunk the first time, so maybe he could cut himself some slack for that one. But last night he’d been stone-cold sober. Loki had offered, and he’d just jumped at the chance.

He took a long deep breath and shoved his hands through his hair, trying to stave off the panic that threatened to clutch around his chest. The worst part wasn’t that it had happened twice. The worst part was that he wanted it to happen _again._ And that was definitely out of the question.

Outside his window a flock of gulls dipped low over the water, searching for their next meal. Tony stood at watched them for several minutes until he could hear over the blood pounding in his head. 

He couldn’t deal with those thoughts right now. He needed to do something else. So he used the restroom, showered, shaved, made himself some coffee, and even a few pieces of toast. He would just act like nothing had happened, and any weird unwelcome urges would just go away.

Tony had several messages on his phone.

> _Peter P. [09:12]: Have a good day Mr Stark! I hope you get to feeling better soon!_

That was sweet of him. Of course, this situation was, at least a tiny bit, Peter’s fault. If he hadn’t have convinced Loki to check on him—_no. _That wasn’t being fair. Nothing about this was Peter’s fault. It was no one’s fault but his own.

Pepper had also sent several messages, much in the same vein as Peter’s. He hesitated a moment he sent her one in return.

> _Tony [12:35]: I hope you’re doing well._

He’d only taken one bite of toast before his phone pinged with a reply.

> _Pepper [12:36]: Are you? You scared everyone._
> 
> _Tony [12:36]: Better now. I’ll be ok._

Pepper replied again, but Tony didn’t look at it. He finished his breakfast and decided to turn his newfound restfulness into productivity. The better to ignore his horrible life choices. He and JARVIS looked over the goings-on at Stark Industries. Nothing terribly exciting. Their stocks had gone up—his breakdown and broken engagement must not have reached the media yet—and that was always welcome.

He replied to Peter.

> _Tony [12:50]: I’m feeling better. Sorry to worry you, kid. Stay out of trouble, and pay attention in class._

Peter sent back a picture of some very unappetizing chicken strips. Jesus, is that what the school was feeding those kids?

> _Tony [12:52] Don't think I won't start sending you lunches, Pete._
> 
> _Peter P. [12:52]: Send enough for Ned and MJ too!_
> 
> _Tony [12:53]: Done._

"Hey, JARVIS, can you make that happen ASAP?"

"Of course, Sir."

"Thanks, bud!"

After finishing his breakfast he found enough small things to occupy him for another two hours. 

The weight of what he'd done the night before still clung to the back of his mind. The knowledge that he should regret it. Be disgusted with himself for it.

And the fact that he wasn't feeling either of those things.

Maybe this was more than he was equipped to handle by himself? But who could he even talk to about it?

He used to talk to Bruce about almost everything. He'd trusted Bruce enough to give in and let Loki stay here in The Tower. But he just wasn't confident that Bruce would understand this.

He also used to talk to Pepper everything, but that was even more out of the question. 

Tony flopped down on his couch and stared up at the ceiling, considering who might understand. Or who at least wouldn't judge him too harshly.

He pinched the bridge of his nose as the obvious occurred to him. Of course he had someone to talk to who wouldn't outright judge him.

"Hey, JARVIS, where is Bucky right now?"

"Sergeant Barnes is currently in the swimming pool, Sir."

"Ok. Could you let him know that I'd like to talk to him when he's done?" _Assuming Bucky even still wants to talk to me._

There were a few moments of silence while JARVIS passed on his message. "He will be up shortly."

Tony decided he was going to need more energy for this. So he brewed another pot of coffee and was partway through a mug when the door opened and Bucky walked in.

He swallowed quickly. "Hey, Bucky."

"Jesus, Tony." Bucky crossed the room and pulled him into a hug. "You're never allowed to pull a stunt like that ever again."

"Ok," he mumbled into Bucky's shoulder.

"I'm serious. You're deleting that fucking protocol _today._" Bucky took a step back, keeping his hands on Tony's shoulders. "You scared the shit out of us."

"I know, I'm sorry." He'd been right. His chest hurt from the concern in Bucky's voice. It was obvious he was angry, too, but it was an anger born of fear and it was not something that was being directed at Tony.

Tony wasn't really sure how to cope with that, either. 

"I just needed time," he tried to explain. "And if you guys could reach me, you would have..."

"Fucking helped?"

Tony nodded.

"Of course I would have! You're my friend!" Bucky's voice softened. "You know it's ok to need help, don't you?"

_Stark men are made of iron, Tony, don't forget that._

"Sure..." _No. _It was ok for others to need help. It was ok for him to help others. But for him to need help was…

"Ok, that wasn't supposed to be a hard question. Come on, let's sit down," Bucky lead him over to the couch and they sat down together. Tony moved to press against his side, grateful for the human contact. (Loki wasn't human. He didn't count. Plus, his touch definitely wasn't comforting in the same way.)

"How've you been the last few days?"

Tony considered that. "In kind of a haze. Drunk, a lot."

"I figured as much," Bucky was smiling gently at him, and it felt like pity. "Have you talked to Pepper any?"

"A little bit this morning. I texted her." He passed his phone over so Bucky could look.

Bucky just glanced over the last few messages. 

"Well, I'm glad you're feeling better now," Bucky said. "I'm glad Loki was able to reach you and talk some sense into you."

Tony nearly laughed at being offered the perfect segue. Instead, he scratched at his arm.

"Tony?"

He pushed himself up to his feet and started pacing. "Ok, so, actually. That's why I asked you up here. I need to talk to _someone_ about Loki, and I figured that out of anything you'd like… I don't know. You'd kind of get it, maybe? Or at least—"

"Hey, Tony, it's ok. I'm listening. Whatever it is, you can just tell me."

Tony couldn't stop pacing. Admitting what happened made it real. More real. But he couldn't just ignore it, either.

"So. Loki and I." He dragged his hand through his hair. "We fucked. Twice." Bucky did an annoyingly good job of hiding however he was feeling about what Tony had just said. Stupid assassin training. 

When Bucky didn't say anything, and just kept looking at him expectantly, Tony continued. "Once, the other day, when he broke through the lockdown I'd set up. I was drunk and, you know, probably not thinking straight… But last night, I wasn't. I was sober and tired, and he offered, and I just fucking went for it."

"Ok," Bucky started.

"No! No, it's not! It's fucking_ Loki!_ He tried to kill me! All of us! And at the first opportunity I just decide, "Yeah, I should sleep with him?!" What the fuck is wrong with me?"

Bucky stood up but didn't try to impede his pacing. "Tony, hey, it _is_ ok." He paused, seeming to rethink his phrasing. "Unless… Did Loki do anything to hurt you?"

Tony shook his head. 

"And you wanted it too?"

"Yes! That's the problem!"

"Why is it a problem?"

He stopped pacing to stare at Bucky. "What?"

"_Why_ is it a problem?" Bucky repeated.

"Because that's not something I should_ want_ to happen! And because," he took a deep breath. "Because I want it to happen again."

Bucky shrugged. "I don't really see the issue here. You're both adults, and as long as it's something you both want, this seems like a no harm no foul type of situation."

"How… how can you be so calm about this?"

"Maybe because I wasn't there a few years ago?" He offered. "I just know Loki as he is now. And he's a pretty interesting guy—in a good way. Plus, it's not like I've never had meaningless sex."

Tony made a face at that, and Bucky actually grinned. "And it's not like _you've_ never had meaningless sex, so stop judging me."

"I'm not!"

"No?" Bucky crossed his arms. "Just jealous then?"

"Oh, fuck off." He was returning Bucky's smile though. "And don't tell Steve."

"Oddly, your sex life doesn't really come up in our conversations that often."

"Shut up."

"Yeah, yeah, I'll keep it to myself. Now c'mon, let's eat something," a metal finger poked him in the ribs. "When was the last time you properly ate a meal?"

Tony huffed. "This morning."

"And before that?" 

"Uuh."

"Yeah, that's what I thought."

"Ok, fine. But afterward, I think I need to go down and talk to Loki. Make sure we're on the same page and all that."

"Probably a good plan," Bucky agreed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A fun tidbit that got cut because I was trying to get them to start fucking and stop talking: Loki is *very* confused by what sort of medicinal treatments humans have that involve sticking things in each other's asses. Things like prostate cancer aren't really a concern for gods.


	6. I'll find out wherever you are / You'll find where your god is

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: I'm gonna try to update at least once a week!  
Me: *shows up over a month late with Starbucks and a new pokemon game* 'Sup?
> 
> Haha, but seriously. This was mostly written. Then I got sick. Then Pokemon came out. Then I finished writing it. Then one of my lovely betas pointed out a small thing.  
And then I rewrote like... 75% of it.   
For the better, I hope.
> 
> Anywho, enjoy! This was betad, and then I edited some stuff after that, so all mistakes are mine, etc.
> 
> Additional tags/warning: Mild kink, biting, blowjobs, frottage, Important Discussions About Consent(tm)

**Tony**

The whole thing had felt so simple when he’d been sitting at the table eating lunch with Bucky. So simple, in fact, that he didn’t even bother coming up with a proper game plan for when he went downstairs to talk with Loki.

It was when he was riding the elevator down that he realized that had been a mistake. He and Loki had never had anything close to a proper conversation. They tended to talk at each other, trading snarks and comebacks, but that was it.

_ Fuck,  _ how was he supposed to approach this? And what if he was the only one who actually wanted things to keep going? Loki had said that he enjoyed the sex, but that didn’t necessarily mean he wanted it to keep happening, did it? He shoved that thought aside. If Loki didn’t want to, he’d find out soon. But right then he was just going to have to assume it was mutual.

Once he was on the landing in front of Loki's door, he had to stop himself from just opening it and waltzing in like he owned the place. He did own the place, but he didn't think that would be a good way to start this discussion on the right foot.

Instead, he knocked. Waited. And then knocked again. He was about to knock a third time when the door opened, revealing a very curious looking Loki. 

He should have at least tried to figure out what he wanted to say first. Since he hadn't done that, he wound up just blurting out the first thing that came to mind: "Ok, look. If this is going to keep happening, it's going to be on my terms."

Loki stepped aside as Tony strode confidently into his living room. "I see you got the rest you needed," was all he said as he let the door shut behind him.

"Yeah, I did, thank—" He turned back towards Loki only to find that he was right up in Tony's personal space, sharing his air. Ok, the feeling was probably mutual.

He was smirking at Tony's startled look. "You're welcome," he started. Then, "If what keeps happening, exactly?"

"The… Us. Fucking. If that keeps happening."

Loki tilted his head and hummed. "I wasn't aware we had done anything outside of your terms thus far."

"Yeah, I figured. And that's why we have to talk about it."

"Alright, I'm listening," Loki said with a nod.

After realizing that Loki wasn't going to be the one to take a step back, Tony turned so he could pace. He thought better when he could move. 

"So, we've only been doing this… whatever this is, for less than a week, and I'm already seeing a pattern that we need to break."

"Uh-huh. Are two instances enough to really call something a pattern?"

"In this case, yeah." He turned and made sure Loki was making eye contact before continuing. "First, I want to be really clear that I don't regret anything." He watched Loki's brow crease as he followed his train of thought.

"I don't regret it either," Loki hedged cautiously.

"Good." Tony dragged a hand through his hair, a small knot of anxiety unraveling in his chest. "But in the future, you can't just poof out of your room to come on to me."

"Why not? Given that we both enjoyed it, I don't see the issue there."

Tony took a deep breath, giving himself a moment to figure out what he wanted to say. "Ok, good point. I guess you  _ can, _ since…"

"You like the attention?" Loki offered.

"Shut up. But yeah, I do." He shook his head. "What I was trying to get at, though, is that both times we've fucked, I wasn't exactly in a good mental state to consent."

Loki went completely still at that. "I…" He trailed off.

"Like I said, I'm not upset or anything. I just… saw the pattern and realized we needed to do something different."

"Alright." Loki tucked his hands behind his back. "Such as?"

"Well, if this is going to be  _ a thing _ , actually talking would be a good first step."

"A thing," Loki echoed. "And what is this to you?"

"Sex?"

Loki rolled his eyes, which Tony found comforting. He hadn't scared him off yet. "Obviously. Is that it?"

"Yeah? Just some good old-fashioned no-strings-attached fucking."

That earned him a chuckle. "You misunderstand," Loki said gently, stepping into Tony's path to stop his pacing. "What I meant was: how would you feel about me, say, tying you up?"

Tony's brain stalled for the split-second that it took for him to process what Loki had actually said.  _ Most _ of his brain was screaming at him that that was a terrible idea. Putting himself at Loki's mercy was  _ dangerous. _ But a small but hard to ignore part wondered, how bad could it be?

"I…" He swallowed. He should say no. He was going to say no. "I'd have to think about it."

Loki smiled. "Alright, fair enough."

Was Loki even being serious? Or was he just fucking with him?

And why did the patronizing look that Loki apparently couldn't keep out of his expression make Tony want to kiss him?

Well, there was only one thing for it. "Can I kiss you?"

Loki blinked. "Can you… Is this us talking before doing things?"

"Yeah, it is."

"Are we going to ask for every little thing?"

Tony sighed. "You can just say no."

"I'm not saying no, I'm making sure that I understand the terms you're asking for."

"Oh. Then, yeah. At least at first, until we know each other better, that's the plan."

"Alright, terms accepted."

Tony grinned and crossed the negligible space between them. He pushed himself up on his toes to capture Loki's mouth in a soft kiss.

It remained soft for approximately one second before Loki wove his fingers into Tony's hair and pulled him impossibly closer. Loki kissed in a way that left Tony feeling  _ claimed. _

He wasn't sure how he felt about it. Except incredibly turned on. And then Loki dragged his nails down his back and couldn't help but roll his hips, seeking friction.

Loki let out a pleased chuckle. "Bed?" He offered.

"Sounds good."

He'd thought maybe they'd separate long enough to get to the bedroom and get undressed, but Loki obviously had other plans. They kept kissing even as Loki walked them back towards the open door—he was unfairly graceful even as Tony stumbled once or twice.

As they crossed the threshold, their clothing disappeared.

"What the  _ fuck?" _ Tony yelped. "What did we literally just say about asking first?!"

Loki’s eyes went wide and he stilled. “I’m sorry. It saves time and I didn’t think that you’d—” He frowned and shook his head. “I didn’t think.”

Tony didn’t think he’d ever seen anything close to regret on Loki’s face, but there it was. He took a deep breath and forced his expression to soften. “It’s…” Well, he couldn’t really say that it was  _ fine. _ “Where did our clothes go?”

“Um, wherever they’d usually go when you get undressed.”

So, not into a void, never to be seen again. That was good, at least. “Ok. Just… a little warning, next time?”

Loki brightened and resumed pulling him towards the bed. “Of course.”

And then Loki’s eyes flicked down towards the Arc Reactor, and it was Tony’s turn to freeze. As soon as he went still, Loki stopped trying to lead him forward.

"Ah," Loki said quietly. "Is that why you insisted on keeping your shirt on?" Tony managed a quick nod. "My apologies. Would you like it back?"

It wasn't like Tony  _ enjoyed _ having sex with his shirt on. It had a tendency to get twisted up, and it made everything too hot.

And Loki didn't seem to actually give a fuck about the Reactor, except as a curiosity. And who wouldn't be curious if their fuck buddy had a goddamn night light embedded in their chest?

"I think I'll be ok," Tony decided.

"You're certain?"

"I mean, I wouldn't go that far, but... Yeah, it's alright."

Loki nodded and patted the bed beside him.

As soon as Tony sat down, Loki kissed him again. It was slower this time, gentler. Tony felt himself getting lost in the sensations of Loki’s hand cupping the side of his face, and the smell and taste and feel of their mouths moving together. He also found that he couldn’t stop himself from reaching up and stroking Loki’s hair. It was soft—softer than any other hair or fur that he could remember ever touching.  _ Alien softness. _ He smiled into the kiss, amused by his own wayward thoughts.

“What are you thinking about?” Loki pulled back enough to ask.

Tony wasn’t sure how well Loki would take the honest answer. So he decided to go with a different truth. “That I owe you an orgasm.” That  _ had _ been buzzing in the back of his mind, even if it wasn’t what Loki was actually asking about.

“You what?” Loki actually sat back at that. “How so?”

“Last night,” Tony explained. “I fell asleep and—”

Loki was chuckling but looked no less bewildered. “The whole point of last night was to get you to fall asleep. I don’t care that I didn’t come.”

“I care,” Tony insisted.

“Alright,” Loki shook his head. His amusement didn’t feel unkind. “I wasn’t aware that something like that would be so important to you. But if you want to make me come, I’m not inclined to dissuade you.”

Tony swallowed as Loki shifted away, settling down with his head propped up by his pillows. He gave a small wave of his hand, a kind of  _ as you wish. _

He shuffled further onto the bed himself and took a moment to admire the sight before him. He reached out and trailed his fingers over the thin dark hair that grew on Loki's chest and down his abdomen. Like the hair on his head, it too was incredibly soft. Tony thought he could probably lose himself just stroking over Loki's stomach if he thought the alien would let him get away with it. 

Instead, he pressed down, the better to feel the muscles just under his skin. In the light of Loki's bedroom, he could actually see two small moles on Loki's thigh, and Tony smiled as he swiped his thumb over them. 

Loki shifted under him and a quick glance up at his face told Tony he was already getting impatient. 

"What, you don’t like foreplay?" 

"Do I look like I need foreplay?" Loki shifted his hips, forcing Tony's attention down to his cock.

It was unfair, Tony decided, how quickly Loki had gotten hard. But rather than comment, he trailed his fingers down the line of fuzz from Loki's navel down to the base of his cock. 

In the light of the day, Tony was once again awed by just how  _ huge _ Loki’s dick was. It wasn't an issue of jealousy or a feeling of inadequacy. He was perfectly comfortable with that part of his body. It was that Loki had pretty heavily implied that he was interested in sticking his cock in Tony's ass.

Which… Could that happen? As much as he tried to focus on the slide of skin on skin and track Loki's reactions to his touch, Tony couldn't help but note that his fingers didn't fully close around Loki. 

Sure, Loki's fingers inside of him had felt good. But he could also remember how two fingers had also felt like a stretch. A pleasant one, but still. 

On the other hand, Loki seemed to think of anal sex as something more intimate. Something that involved trust. So maybe Loki hadn't been serious. Maybe he'd just been talking to fill the air. Maybe—

"Stark?" 

He startled. "Sorry," he said quickly. He wasn't sure how much he'd checked out and gave Loki an apologetic smile.

Loki looked faintly bewildered, but not upset. "What happened? Did I inspire an idea for one of your projects?"

Tony couldn't keep his face from falling, so he firmly looked away, his free hand digging into his thigh. "No," he grit out. "I'm  _ here." _

He pushed down the spike of  _ hurt _ that was trying to settle in his gut. That wasn't a jab. Loki wasn't trying to be cruel. He  _ couldn't _ have been. He couldn't possibly know how often that had happened, or how many fights that had caused.

"Are you al—"

"I was thinking about what you said last night," Tony cut off Loki's attempt at concern. He wasn't going to talk about it. Hell, he wasn't going to think about it.

Loki pushed himself up onto his elbows. "You need to be a bit more specific than that."

"Uh, about putting your cock inside me."

Loki didn’t immediately reply and after a moment Tony looked back up to try to see what sort of expression he was making.

"I don't recall suggesting that," Loki offered, looking decidedly bemused.

"Oh," Tony shifted. Great, he'd gotten himself distracted over  _ nothing. _

Loki didn't let him look away again, though. When he tried he found Loki's fingers cupping his jaw, not letting him escape his curious gaze. "Is that something you want, Stark?" His voice dropped low, the invitation in his tone made Tony's stomach flutter in… what? Anticipation? Fear?  _ Both? _

"I don't know," Tony admitted. "You put the thought in my head so now I'm  _ thinking about it.  _ But I'm pretty sure it wouldn't fit, so—"

Whatever reaction he might have expected, it wasn't Loki laughing at him. He was laughing hard enough that Tony managed to scowl and jerk himself out of Loki's hold. 

"Alright, yeah, fuck you too."

He made to get off the bed but Loki sobered—or at least quit laughing. "Ah, wait, I'm sorry," he said as he reached out for Tony's wrist. He was still obviously amused though, and Tony didn't feel like jumping to forgiveness.

"You surprised me," Loki explained. "I don't mean to laugh at your concern."

"Liar."

Loki smirked and drew Tony's hand back down to his cock. "I am many things, Stark," Loki told him. "A prince, a sorcerer, a god,... But there's one thing I'm not: I am not a liar."

Those five words were spoken with such intensity that it made Tony's breath catch.

And in the next moment, Loki was smiling again. "Besides, you shouldn't sell yourself short. You'd be amazed how far a positive attitude can get you."

Tony huffed out a long breath before resuming stroking Loki's dick. "So you wouldn't hurt me?" He asked, as much to keep himself present as anything else.

“Not without asking first,” Loki teased easily as he released Tony's hand.

And that… that had Tony's mind threatening to splinter off into a dozen new  _ What Ifs. _ Loki  _ had _ been serious earlier.

The grin on Loki's face told Tony that he knew exactly what he'd just done.

Tony wasn't going to risk proving him right by replying. Meaningless sex was one thing, but what Loki had alluded to was something else entirely. 

Instead, he repositioned until he was hovering with his face a few inches above Loki's cock. He smiled at the sound of Loki's sharp intake of breath. "This ok?" He asked, glancing back up.

"Yes," Loki nodded. "Very ok. Are you comfortable like that?"

"Comfortable enough," he winked. He had a feeling Loki wasn't convinced by his bravado, but he didn't say anything or try to stop him.

He wrapped his fingers around the base of Loki's dick and gave the tip a curious lick. It had been a while since he'd sucked anyone off, but as he took the head into his mouth, Loki didn't complain. 

Tony bobbed his head, licking and sucking at the first couple of inches of Loki's cock, stroking what he couldn't fit in his mouth. Which, between the awkward position and Loki's size, was most of it. 

But Loki let out a soft moan, so Tony didn't think he particularly minded. It quickly became obvious that Loki was trying to hold still, which Tony appreciated. Even as he quietly relished the sensation when Loki's hips would jerk, pushing him further into Tony's mouth until his lips were stretched thin around him and his jaw ached with it. 

When his hand dropped down to fondle Loki's balls, the other man swore. It was an alien language, but Tony knew swearing when he heard it.

"Stark," Loki panted, "I'm close."

He hummed his acknowledgment. 

Loki swore again—in English that time—and came. Tony stroked him through it and swallowed as much of Loki's come as he could manage. He didn't get all of it, but he also didn't choke, so he considered it a win. 

"Sorry," Loki said while he caught his breath.

Tony had to stretch his jaw before attempting words. "Nah, you warned me. Plus, I, uh. I like it."

"You…" Loki fixed him with a bright smile as his hand sunk into Tony's hair and pulled him up for a kiss.

He definitely wasn't going to admit how much he enjoyed the feeling of Loki pulling him around by the hair. At least he was already hard and didn't have to try to hide his reaction to it.

Loki used a spell to clean up what Tony hadn't been able to swallow. Tony noted that he didn’t ask permission, but, well, he didn’t really want to have to think about cleaning come out of his beard later. So, he was too grateful to bitch.

"So," Loki started, idly running his fingers along Tony's swollen lips. "Are we even now, or do you feel the need to go without before you'll feel better about last night?"

Tony did not feel the need to go without. His dick was hard and aching between his legs. "Or we could wait a bit so that we can both come?"

"Why wait?"

"What?" 

He barely had time to process Loki's smirk before the alien had rolled them so that Tony was lying flat on his back with Loki looming over him. That position obviously did something for Loki, and Tony would be lying if he tried to say he didn't get something of a rush from it too.

Loki on top of him, weighing him down, his expression equal parts pleased and hungry. Like a predator that had finally cornered its prey and—. Tony mentally shook himself. Where the fuck had that come from? Loki wasn't a predator. Or, well, he probably was, since he ate meat. But in the same way that humans were predators. Not… not whatever he'd just imagined.

"What's that face?" Loki asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Nothing. Just… had a weird thought." Tony shifted under Loki's weight, trying to free his wrists from Loki's grip. "Can I have my hands back?"

Loki smiled and rearranged them so that he was no longer pinning Tony down, but was instead settled between Tony's legs. "Better?"

"You don't have to manhandle me, you know. You can just ask."

"You like being manhandled," Loki purred. Before Tony could gather a retort Loki rolled his hips.

"Are you seriously already hard again?"

"Is that a problem?"

Sure. What would an alien need with something like a refractory period? The whole thing made Tony want to scoff with the ridiculousness of it. 

Instead, he met Loki's next thrust with one of his own. And fuck. He had never given frottage its fair consideration before. Part of him thought it should have felt weird and juvenile, grinding against each other like horny teenagers. 

Another part just decided that horny teenagers had the right idea. 

"That's what I thought," Loki chuckled.

"Shut up."

"Never." 

Tony laughed despite himself and wrapped his legs around Loki, the better to meet his movements. Loki's hands didn't drift downwards, and so in an unspoken agreement, neither did Tony's. But they did bury themselves back into Loki's hair and pulled him down for a messy kiss. 

And what the fuck? He never kissed people during casual sex. But once he'd started kissing Loki, he found he didn't want to stop. It was intoxicating. And God, he was so hard and  _ so close. _

"Please," he whined. 

"Please, what?"

He drew a blank. Everything felt good. Better than it had any reason to. He was  _ right there _ but he needed  _ something. _ He had no idea what to ask for. 

"I don't know," he admitted, closing his eyes.

Loki was laughing softly, and Tony felt more than heard it. “Do you trust me?”

That was a loaded question if Tony had ever heard one. And he wasn’t really feeling up to processing that complicated of a conversation right then. “I dunno,” he answered honestly.

He was pretty sure he could  _ hear _ the smile in Loki’s voice at that. “Do you trust that I can make you feel good?”

Well, he had a great track record so far. “Yeah,” he decided.

Loki pressed one last kiss to his lips before leaving a trail along the side of Tony’s face and down to this throat.

Speaking of things that Tony had never properly appreciated: his neck was apparently particularly sensitive. Loki's mouth was soft and warm as he licked against Tony's pulse point. It was strangely relaxing even as it ratcheted up his need to come even higher. 

The alien was sucking what was certain to be a remarkable and  _ very noticeable _ hickey onto the side of his neck. Tony knew he should probably complain, but it felt too damned good to even consider it.

And then he felt Loki’s teeth grazing against his throat and he shuddered. Loki wasn’t biting down. He was  _ asking. _ Silently, yes, but still. 

“Yes,” Tony hissed, throwing caution to the wind. Who knew what kind of can of worms this would open? Some part of him wanted to find out.

Loki bit down and the mix of  _ PainPleasureDanger _ of it was exactly what he’d needed because suddenly he was coming.

It took him a few moments to process that Loki had also shuddered through his own orgasm.

“Didn’t really expect that about myself,” Tony panted, his hand moving to the skin of his neck.

Loki just grinned down at him with the same look that made Tony think,  _ Predator, _ again. “So that was ok?”

Tony nodded. “More than ok,” he admitted before catching himself. He needed to put a stop to this conversation immediately. “So, are you gonna do that cleanup spell thing or do I need to drag myself into the shower?"

"Oh, I don't need to ask permission for that first?" Loki teased as their come disappeared to… Well, Tony didn't really want to know where it went, actually.

"Thank you," Tony said, even as he rolled his eyes. "Are you going to be this difficult about everything?"

"Yes," Loki replied simply, startling a laugh out of Tony. 

"Alright," he found himself smiling. "Good to know what I'm getting into."

Loki hummed softly but otherwise didn't reply.

* * *

**Loki**

Eventually, Stark departed, but not before they had lazily enjoyed the afterglow of their coupling. They didn't really speak—Loki was fairly certain it was the longest they'd been in each other's company without speaking. Allowing for the night before, of course, as Stark had been unconscious for the better part of it.

After getting dressed, Loki wandered back into the living room. He couldn't decide if he was hungry or not, or what he might want to eat if he was. 

So he retrieved his—he supposed it was his, at least—laptop settled down at the kitchen table. Peter had sent him an email with over a dozen images attached. Photographs that he'd taken from around New York City. 

Several were landmarks that, though they were surrounded by people looking at them in various stages of attention and awe, didn't mean a thing to him. 

One was of the Avengers Tower from several blocks away, showing how it dwarfed the other buildings nearby. From the angle of the photo Peter had to have been fairly high up to take the picture, and Loki idly wondered where he'd been. 

Others seemed more personal. Peter's school, several restaurants that he enjoyed, and one of Peter with two other young humans. 

The last picture was of what Peter called a "bookstore cat." An orange and white long-haired beast with unimpressed orange eyes. Loki wasn't sure why Midgardian bookstores benefited from having cats, but Peter seemed to have made a stop simply to say hello to it.

Maybe that  _ was _ the point? To attract potential customers.

Loki cupped his head in his hand and considered it. The cat looked healthy and well-fed. Its coat was shiny and free of tangles. It probably got as much attention as it wanted, and could run off and hide in the stacks of books when it wanted to be alone.

It didn't actually sound like a bad deal when he thought of it like that.

He'd been so lost in thought about the damned cat that Loki didn't notice that the elevator had stopped on his floor until he heard a knock at the door.

That was dangerous, he knew. He was getting complacent. Regardless of the kindness he had been shown thus far, he still couldn't risk getting too relaxed. He knew not all of the Avengers were agreeable to his situation. And it was only a matter of time before…

He shook his head and focused. He wasn't in danger. Not right then, at least. It was only Bucky standing on the other side of the door, awaiting his permission to enter.

"Come in."

"Hey, I'm not bothering you, am I?" Bucky asked as he walked in.

"Not at all. I was just reading an email that Peter sent me." It was with a mild pang of disappointment that Loki realized that Bucky was alone this time. He'd left Pup back on his floor. 

"Everything ok with him?"

Loki nodded. "He enjoys sharing the photographs he takes."

"Oh, yeah," Bucky nodded and sat down across the table. "Kid's a fuckin'  _ shutterbug _ . I think Tony had to fake threaten him when he first started coming around here to get him to leave the camera at home."

Loki blinked. It wasn't often that he came across a word that the AllSpeak couldn't translate. It was only through the context of the rest of the conversation that Loki could guess what a  _ shutterbug _ might be. He decided that it probably had something to do with taking pictures. Although he wasn't certain that it didn't have anything to do with bugs. 

"What about you?" Bucky continued.

"Pardon?"

"Is everything ok with you?"

"Yes, why wouldn't it be?"

Bucky just gave him an expectant look.

"Tell me, is this a social call, or did you have another motive for visiting this evening?"

"Can it be both?"

Loki set his laptop to the side so that he could better look Bucky in the face. "That depends on what your other motive is, doesn't it." 

"Alright, fine, I'll cut to the chase," Bucky was still smiling, but Loki could smell the faintest hint of anxiety. "Earlier today, Tony told me about the two of you." 

He quickly made his expression as neutral as possible. "And so now you're here to threaten me?" He had to fight to keep his voice even. He’d heard these sorts of threats enough times that it took effort not to immediately start mocking it.

"I hope not," Bucky said. "Do I need to be threatening you?"

That was certainly not the answer Loki had been expecting. 

"No," he answered quickly, then paused. He didn't have to think long before accepting that he meant it: Bucky had no reason to be concerned for Stark's safety. At least not as far as Loki was concerned. The man was far more likely to injure himself than Loki was. And besides that, he didn't  _ want _ anything bad to happen to the human. 

"No," he repeated. "You don't need to threaten me."

He was having fun. He had people who did more than tolerate him. At least for the moment, Loki was in no hurry to surrender his life to the chaos that lapped at the edges of his existence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 7 is outlined and I'm v excited about it, so hopefully I'll see y'all sooner than a month from now.


	7. Trust in me and falter / I will only swallow whole

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I sure as heck didn't post this when I had hoped I would.  
A LOT happened in between November and Today. Like. A LOT.
> 
> BUT I FINALLY WROTE IT AND I'M SO HYPE TO SHARE IT AAAHHHH.

**Tony**

By the end of the next week, Tony found himself spending nearly all of his and Loki’s available free time with each other. They were constantly in one or the other’s rooms. The fact that Loki had found a project that precluded their time together did, admittedly, leave him feeling more than a little uneasy. Even worse was that whenever he asked Loki about it, all Loki would reply with was, “It’s nothing you need to be concerned about.” Which, naturally, was concerning as fuck.

But every time Tony tried to push and learn more Loki would find a way to distract him. And Loki was  _ very _ distracting.

For example, Tony had never thought of his nipples as particularly sensitive. Sure, he'd always been fine with partners messing with them, but it was nothing like the fire that coursed through his veins at Loki's touch.

And if he'd thought his neck had been sensitive before, Loki was happy to prove to him that he hadn't known the half of it. He fairly regularly wound up with a fucking collar of hickeys around his neck. Not that he was complaining, exactly.

And on at least one memorable occasion Loki had even managed to make him come untouched—something he argued was impossible for him right up until it happened. With three of Loki’s talented fingers deep in his ass, he'd shaken apart, barely able to keep back a sob as he orgasmed.

He'd stayed a bit shaky and  _ off _ for the next 2 days, and found himself avoiding… Well, everyone. It got to the point he was using JARVIS to make sure that his comings and goings wouldn't lead to any unwanted interactions. 

When he'd finally returned to Loki he wasn't met with any questions, and Tony wasn't sure what had even been bothering him, so he didn't try to bring it up. He felt fine, it was probably nothing. 

Besides, aside from that one bit of weirdness, things had been great! He was sleeping, able to maintain communication with his friends, and even managed to stay productive. He'd even started to be able to text with Pepper without feeling like an overwrought husk afterward. And if anyone was curious about his behavioral shift, they didn’t mention it. 

Apparently having a partner—and oh, that was a loaded word—who shared his sex drive did him a lot of good. Who'd have guessed?

It didn't even seem to matter that they were hardly talking, and definitely not bonding in any meaningful way. He knew he was rebounding  _ hard, _ but he couldn't find it in himself to be bothered by it. They were having fun. Nothing more or less than that.

So, naturally, he was hardly surprised when the whole thing blew up in his face.

He was sprawled out on the rug in Loki's living room with Loki hovering over him, one leg pressed against his groin. He wasn't entirely sure how they'd gotten down there, but he wasn't inclined to complain. They were still fully clothed, just rocking together slowly, breathing each other's air.

He had no reason to expect that they would be interrupted. At least not without JARVIS giving them a fair warning first.

But not even JARVIS was always quick enough to pick up on the subtle changes Thor's appearance caused in the atmosphere when he wanted to move quietly. The closest thing to a warning he got was Loki's head snapping up, just in time for the air to explode mere feet away from them.

He hadn't come close to recovering from the bone-jarring sound—nevermind the ensuing panic attack—when Loki was lifted bodily away from him and thrown.

Tony heard the sound of glass shattering and forced himself to sit up, ignoring the way every part of him was screaming at him to run for cover. He was surprised at the relief he felt when he realized it wasn’t Loki that had been thrown through the window, but rather a chair. Which also wasn’t ideal. Nor was the destruction of the table and two other chairs that Loki had been thrown  _ through. _

His ears were still ringing when he recognized that Thor was yelling something at Loki. He had a hard time making anything out with so much of his focus drawn by the crackles of electricity that sparked over Thor’s body as he advanced towards his brother. It was something about how he’d been trying to keep Loki safe. And how dare he return that kindness by attacking Tony.

“Thor!” Tony yelled, hoping to be heard over the, quite literally, thunderous voice of the enraged god. When Thor glanced his direction Tony continued. “This wasn’t what it looked like! Loki wasn’t attacking me!” Good, he had Thor’s attention. He could try to explain. “We were…”

Moments later he found that perhaps having Thor’s attention might not have been the best thing for him. Thor had narrowed his eyes and was moving towards Tony instead, the electricity not dissipating in the least. “You were?” Thor asked when he came to a stop in front of Tony. His remaining eye was glowing white, and Tony realized that it was very possible that Thor might find what they were  _ actually _ doing worse than what he’d mistakenly assumed.

“Um.” He swallowed. This wasn’t a conversation he wanted to have. Especially not with Thor. But here he was, and he had to make the best of it. No point in sugar-coating it. “We were fucking.”

Static built around Thor’s hand. Yep, he definitely found that to be  _ worse. _ “You mean to tell me that I left my brother in your care—that I trusted you to protect him! Only to return to find you  _ taking advantage _ of the situation? Of his trauma?”

_ His trauma? _ Sure, Loki wasn’t always the picture of great mental health but he hadn’t come off as particularly traumatized to Tony. Besides, Loki also seemed to have been doing much better since their arrangement had begun. He had probably needed the comfort—or at least the distraction—as much as Tony had.

“It’s none of your concern, Thor!” Loki had climbed back to his feet, looking none the worse for having been tossed across the room and through several pieces of heavy furniture. 

“It  _ is _ my concern if my brother is being manipulated and—”

A layer of ice sprung to existence over the floor, freezing over Thor’s boots and up to his knees, cutting him off. “Can you hear yourself?” Loki growled. “You think I’d let a  _ human _ manipulate me?” Two of the remaining chairs flung themselves at Thor.

Thor held up an arm and blocked the worst of the blow. With another swift movement, small bolts of lightning struck, setting Loki’s bookcases and laptop ablaze. Another bolt landed between Tony’s legs, making him jerk back away from the smoldering floor with a yelp.

Tony had never seen the expression Loki wore before. It was beyond anger, beyond hatred, beyond rage. 

Suddenly the entire room was  _ filled _ with fire, dancing around them but damaging nothing. The fire that burned at Loki’s possessions faded away and… were the items unharmed? They certainly hadn’t been a few seconds ago.

Flames licked up Loki’s body as he stepped towards Thor. The ice around him jutted up from the ground around him as he passed over it. He threw more bursts of flames and ice at Thor, who barely managed to block them that time. He was struggling to break himself free from the icy prison that Loki had created for him.

Even the air itself seemed to bend to Loki’s will. Slowly Thor’s lightning began to withdraw as it was starved of oxygen. 

Tony’s eyes widened at the show of magic and  _ power. _ Right. Of course. Loki was a  _ god. _ He’d said so from the beginning. But it had been hard to conceptualize until that moment. 

“You  _ left me here,” _ Loki hissed as he stopped inches away from his brother. “I’m only doing as you asked, brother.” He spread his hands to the side and somehow even that felt threatening. “What say do you think you have in how I spend my time incarcerated?”

A pang of  _ hurt _ that Tony refused to acknowledge hit his chest. Just because they’d been becoming—Well, not friendly, exactly. There was never any chance that that would be enough to keep Loki from feeling trapped and imprisoned.

“I…” Thor started.

“If you take so much issue with who I choose to lay with, why don’t you just let me go free?”

The pang got worse. Tony kept ignoring it as best as he could. But he couldn’t stop the way his gut twisted as he realized he didn’t actually want Loki to leave anymore. Because he’d miss the sex and his newfound ability to sleep. That was all.

Thor took a moment and looked between Loki’s fury and Tony’s fear. “I came because I wanted to be sure that you were well,” he told Loki. “It appears you are.” 

“I am,” Loki assured him, the flames and ice beginning to recede. Thor was finally able to move again. “I don’t need nor want your protection, Thor.”

“I see. Then I shall leave you to it,” Thor replied gruffly. He gave Tony one last considering look before heading for the elevator.

“Where are you going?” Tony couldn’t help but ask.

“There are those that live here who would enjoy my presence.” The elevator door closed.

Tony pulled himself up into a sitting position and gazed around the room at the wanton destruction that the brothers had caused. Though Loki had repaired his possessions, most of the room was still in various stages of immolation. 

Loki followed his gaze and the fires went out with no obvious movement from him.

“Can you fix the rest of this?” He asked numbly. So much had happened too quickly for him to make sense of everything yet.

“I could improve their condition,” Loki answered. “But there has been too much damage to completely repair most of it.”

“Damn,” Tony grumbled. He dragged himself to his feet long enough to be able to drop back down on the thankfully unharmed couch. His lungs burned as the panic finally had a chance to set in. He dug his fingers into the front of his shirt as he started hyperventilating.

“Are you alright?” Loki asked, stepping closer to him. He froze at Tony’s flinch though. “Did I frighten you?”

Tony just stared up at him. “Not just you,” he choked out. 

“Is there anything I can do?”

He just shook his head. “Gimme a minute.”

He’d been in very real, very visceral danger. Thor had tried to  _ electrocute _ him. And Loki had… He looked around the room again and instantly regretted it. It took several long moments before the worst of his panic started to subside.

“It took, what? Two minutes? And the two of you just  _ destroyed _ this room.” That seemed like the easiest thing to deal with. “Do you have any idea how difficult it is to replace windows this high up?” 

Loki slowly looked over, seeming to admire the fractured glass. “I don’t. I suppose you could tell me, though.”

Tony groaned and held his head in his hands. “A lot,” was his only reply to that. “And you can’t fucking stay here with the room like this.” Distantly he wondered how hard Thor had thrown Loki if it caused a chair to break through his window. 

He grit his teeth. He had to deal with at least part of this immediately. “Grab your shit,” he ordered. 

“Pardon?”

“You heard me. You can’t stay here. I’ve got to find another place to stash you for now.” He ran a hand through his hair. “And reprogram shit.” He glared up at Loki. “It’s not even that any of this will be hard. I just shouldn’t have to do it.”

Loki looked amused by his complaints. “Might I make a suggestion?”

“If you must.” 

“Why don’t I just stay in the penthouse with you?”

Tony blinked, certain that he’d misheard Loki. But Loki was just looking at him expectantly. “What? Why?”

“We spend enough time in each other’s company as it is. It seems like it would be more expedient for me to simply be down the hallway rather than necessitate an elevator ride.”

He found himself considering Loki’s suggestion. It was ridiculous and foolhardy. Dangerous. And yet also frustratingly tempting. He  _ did _ have plenty of room, and it  _ would _ simplify things. But it would also require him to explain to the others  _ why _ Loki was staying up on his floor.

“Tell me something first.”

“Yes?”

“Why protect me? Why not use this chance to leave once and for all?”

Loki actually looked startled by the question, if only for a few seconds. He quickly covered it with a smirk. “Because I don’t like Thor touching my things.”

Tony only raised an eyebrow at that. “Were you too pissed off at Thor to even realize you had a ready-made escape route?”

The god—because that was undeniably what Loki was—looked annoyed. “Don’t put words in my mouth.”

“So I’m wrong?”

Loki hmphed. “Don’t let it go to your head, Stark.” 

Tony found himself smiling. He had certainly gotten angry enough to not think things through before. It was nice to know that Loki was similarly susceptible to such failings. And to learn that, at least in some possessive way, Loki cared enough about him to garner that level of anger. Still, he wondered if he should be concerned that Loki considered him one of “his things”. But it didn’t  _ feel _ like something concerning. 

“Alright. Let’s get you moved upstairs then.”

Once Loki was settled—or at least had dropped his belongings off—into his new room Tony set to updating JARVIS’s systems. He changed where Loki was allowed to be and loosening the limits of behaviors he was allowed before Tony needed to be alerted. He also took a few minutes to set up an order for new windows and a time to have them installed. 

When he was done, he leaned back in his chair and found Loki leaning against his doorframe. 

“So, where were we?”

Tony pushed himself away from the desk with a smile. “I have to admit, I’m not really sure.”

“No?”

“Nope. You need to remind me.”

Loki’s eyes lit up at that. “I think I can manage that.” He jerked his head towards the bed and gave Tony an expectant look.

Tony was quick to follow the silent suggestion and scrambled for the bed. He heard Loki chuckle at his enthusiasm. 

“What? It’s not every day I get to fuck a god.”

“You’ve been fucking a god for the last few weeks.”

“Sure, but it’s different now.”

Loki sat down on the edge of the bed. “How so?”

“Because for the last few years I guess I kind of just assumed you and Thor were… You know. Exaggerating.”

“Exaggerating?” Loki looked amused rather than offended, so there was that. “You didn’t believe me?”

“I believed that you were super powerful and considered yourself a god in comparison to humans,” Tony explained.

Loki crawled over him, effectively pinning him to the bed even if they weren’t actually touching. “And now?”

“Now…” Tony swallowed. “Now I’ve watched you debilitate Thor like it was nothing.”

“Well, so long as you realize your error now,” Loki purred. He finally leaned down, pressing a kiss against Tony’s lips. 

Tony reached up and wrapped his arms around Loki’s neck, keeping him down and in easy reach as he returned the kiss.

Loki chuckled against him, lowering himself until he was laying across Tony’s body. “I must not have frightened you overmuch,” he mused, rolling his hips and grinding against Tony’s half-hard dick.

“Must not have,” Tony agreed, refusing to acknowledge that his fear of Loki’s terrible strength had very much affected his arousal. 

“I’ll have to fix that,” Loki murmured against his lips. 

Tony shuddered at the  _ promise _ in Loki’s voice. Which probably wasn’t the reaction he should be having. 

Loki rocked against him again, and Tony met the movement this time. 

“We’re wearing too many clothes,” he complained.

The god smiled. “Does that mean you’d like me to use a spell to fix that?”

Tony only hesitated for a moment. It was definitely more convenient. Especially since Loki wasn’t surprising him with it this time. “Yeah, alright.”

In the next instant, they were nude, their bodies flush against each other. Tony groaned and arched up to try to get as much contact as he could. 

“Impatient,” Loki chided, one hand on Tony’s hip, pressing him back down to the bed. “What’s the rush?”

“No rush. Just…”

“Horny?”

Tony let out a surprised laugh at Loki’s wording. “Yeah, basically.”

“I definitely plan to make that worse before it gets better.”

“Promise?”

Loki’s eyes crinkled in amusement. “I told you before.” He ducked down so that his next words were whispered in Tony’s ear. “I’m not a liar.”

Moments later Loki’s hand took hold of their cocks, thrusting against Tony and stroking them off.

Tony gasped and closed his eyes. “Wait, I…”

“Hmm?”

“Could we…”

Loki stilled but tightened his grip on them. “Spit it out, Stark.”

He wanted this, Tony reminded himself. Even if the prospect was still nerve-wracking if he thought about it too hard. Even then, he wanted to  _ try. _ He wanted to  _ know. _

“Do you want to fuck me?” He said the words as quickly as he could before he lost his nerve. 

Confusion crossed Loki’s features for a moment. “I  _ am _ fucking you.”

Tony felt himself go red. “No, I mean—” 

“I know what you mean,” Loki told him. 

“Jerk.”

“Why now?” Loki asked.

“Because it’ll feel good?”

Loki’s eyes narrowed at him and not for the first time Tony wondered if he could  _ sense _ lies. Or at least half-truths.

Tony  _ did _ think it would feel good. He was pretty confident about it, actually. 

“Because I want you to,” he tried again. “Because you… You kicked your brother’s ass to  _ protect me.”  _

The god’s expression didn’t soften. “So, what? You’re suggesting it as a way to  _ thank me?” _

“No! Well, ok, a little bit,” he corrected. “But mostly because I,” he floundered for the right words to express what he was feeling. “I  _ trust  _ you to make me feel good.” It was the closest Tony could manage without lying.

Loki was still looking at him with a critical eye. Tony just waited. He didn’t know what else to say. Maybe he’d been right before, and this was far too intimate of an ask for their relationship. Maybe it meant  _ more _ to Loki than it did to him. 

Suddenly Loki’s entire demeanor changed, and it was like he was back to normal. Cocky and self-assured and far too pleased each concession Tony made. 

"I want to make you fall apart.”

Tony swallowed and nodded.

But Loki wasn’t done. “I’m going to fuck you open one finger at a time. Until you’re  _ begging _ me to fill your poor desperate hole.”

Loki’s habit of dropping his holier-than-thou pretense during sex never failed to throw Tony for a loop. It also never failed to go straight to Tony’s cock.

“Promises, promises,” Tony challenged.

The god’s grin was  _ predatory _ as he loomed over Tony. “Spread your legs for me.”

Tony started to obey, but apparently he wasn’t fast enough for Loki’s liking. Strong hands moved him how they pleased so that Loki could kneel between his legs.

“Tell me you want me.”

“Haven’t I already made that pretty clear?”

_ “Say it.” _

“I want you,” Tony said.

He wasn’t sure why that had been so important to Loki, but Loki finally started pressing one of his fingers into his hole, so he wasn’t going to complain.

Loki mumbled something in a language Tony didn’t speak.

“Sorry, what?”

“Don’t worry about it.” 

Before Tony could argue, Loki crooked the finger inside him and Tony’s curiosity melted away. 

“Good?”

“Yeah.”

Loki didn’t leave him at one finger for long. A bit too quickly a second finger joined the first. The burn made Tony moan and clench around him. 

“So you  _ do _ like that,” Loki mused, thrusting and twisting his fingers inside him.

“Like what?” Tony panted. 

There was a third finger pushing into him and Tony threw his head back and pressed back against the intrusion.

“You like when it hurts.”

“Hng.”

“What was that?” Loki stopped moving only once his fingers were as deep as he could get them.

“You’re supposed to ask first.”

Loki looked pleased by his snark. “You’re right, I am,” he admitted. “I suppose I’ll have to make it up to you.”

Thankfully Loki was nowhere as quick to transition to his cock.  _ Now _ he was taking his time. He was practically  _ gentle _ as he moved his fingers and worked on convincing Tony’s ass to relax around him. 

On the other hand, Loki also never eased up on the way he was rubbing against Tony’s prostate, even as Tony whined under him. Eventually Tony had to wonder if Loki wasn’t just going to push him until he came from just his fingers. He wasn’t terribly keen on that possibility if he was being honest. And he definitely didn’t think he’d be able to handle Loki’s cock post-orgasm.

“Loki,” he whimpered.

Loki gave him a very patient look. “You trust me to make you feel good, right?”

“Yeah, but—”

“Keep that trust, then. I’ll make it worth you while.”

Tony groaned and dropped his arm over his eyes. What game was Loki playing at this point? Surely there was no need to…  _ That son of a bitch. _

“Oh, fuck you,” he grumbled and was rewarded with Loki’s answering chuckle. “Loki,” he ground out as flatly as he could. “Please put your cock in me.”

“I suppose that was good enough this time,” Loki teased. Before Tony could so much as glare at Loki he felt the fingers slip free from his body. He felt  _ empty _ without them. He wasn’t sure he liked the neediness Loki had inspired in him.

Every thought of snark and complaint dried up as Loki’s cock pressed against his hole. He took in a sharp breath as anxiety washed over him. 

“Calm down or I might actually hurt you,” Loki told him. His tone wasn’t mocking. It was almost soothing. “And I’m not inclined to properly hurt you without your permission.”

Oh. That was… something. Nice? Thoughtful? Caring?  _ Manipulative? _

It didn’t really matter what Loki’s motivation was, he still waited and watched until Tony’s breathing started to even back out from its anxious staccato. Only then did he start pushing himself into Tony.

He focused on keeping his breaths under control. Keeping them slow and deep as a barrier against his rising doubt. Loki’s cock felt very unlike his fingers. It was bigger, longer, harder, and Tony was much less confident that this was actually going to be possible.

“What did I say about calming down?” Loki asked gently.

Tony could only whine in reply.

Loki stilled. “Do you need a minute?”

“I…” Something eased in Tony’s chest. He didn’t feel safe, exactly. But he believed that Loki didn’t want to hurt him. Loki was interested in Tony’s enjoyment and pleasure as much as his own. 

Relaxing felt very much like getting a proper gasp of air after being underwater for too long. 

The god even made a small surprised sound as Tony went loose and pliant, his body finally accepting the head of Loki’s cock.

“There you go,” Loki said. It almost sounded like praise.

Now that his initial distress had calmed, it was much easier to press against each other. To  _ join _ together. It still burned and might have even been right on the edge of pain, but Tony found that even that just spiked his arousal ever higher.

Fuck, maybe Loki was right.  _ Did _ he like it when it hurt?

That was a problem for future Tony, he decided. For now, he was more interested in the rocking of their bodies, and the triumphant smile on Loki’s face when he finally bottomed out. 

“Alright?” Loki panted.

“Great.”

It was fullness and pressure and white-hot sparks of pleasure that seared through him every time Loki thrust back inside him. Maybe eventually he would admit to Loki that yes, he  _ had _ been missing out because of his squeamishness. But not right then. Right then he was happy to voice his approval with moans and gasps and the occasional whine.

Loki was right there with him, though. He wasn’t the least bit shy about making sure Tony knew how much he was enjoying himself. 

Tony was getting close. Pleasure had steadily built up as Loki moved inside him. It was good and it was a lot and he just needed  _ something _ to touch his dick. When he reached down to touch himself Loki huffed and slapped his hand away. 

“Not gonna let me come?”

The next few thrusts were increasingly aggressive until Loki started stroking Tony’s cock himself. “Gonna make you come when I’m ready for you to.”

Tony keened as one last thrust jabbed against his prostate and Loki came. The sensation was nearly strange enough to make his own orgasm falter. Nearly, but not quite. Instead, he came with a shout as pleasure crashed over him again and again. 

Loki was slightly shaky as he rolled off of him. And oh, now he  _ really  _ felt empty. He didn’t like it, but he didn’t know what, if anything, he could really do about it. Tony decided it was a fair trade for the orgasm he got though. Less worthwhile though, was how Loki’s come escaped from his body. 

He must have made a face because Loki asked, “What’s wrong?”

“I’m  _ leaking,”  _ he complained.

The god curled up in a fit of  _ giggles _ of all things. It was unexpected enough that Tony could only stare at him.

“Oh, you’re actually distressed by it, aren’t you?”

“A bit,” Tony admitted.

“Easy enough to fix.” Loki’s spell cleaned them up, and Tony let out a grateful sigh.

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

For once the silence that fell over them was comfortable. Tony was pretty sure he dozed for a bit, but he had no idea if Loki had as well.

Eventually, Loki broke the silence. “Did you enjoy yourself?”

“Yeah,” he rolled onto his side so he could look at Loki. “Once I stopped freaking myself out.”

He liked being able to make Loki smile, he decided.

“I think you liked it even when you were scaring yourself.”

“Freaking out,” Tony corrected.

Loki fixed him with an annoyed look. “When you were freaking yourself out.”

Tony grinned. “What about you?”

“I thought my enjoyment was plenty obvious.”

“Doesn’t mean I don’t want to hear you say it.”

The god huffed in amusement. “Few things would please me more than to repeat today as often as possible.”

“Yeah? The whole day, or just this last bit?”

“Mostly the last bit.”

Tony yawned and stretched out. “Same, I think. Especially now that I know for sure your dick will actually fit inside me.”

Loki shook with another fit of quiet laughter.

He knew that this wasn’t an arrangement that could possibly last. That just made him want to enjoy it for as long as he could all the more.

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to come say hi to me (besides here in the comments, which would also be lovely and fantastic) you can find me a few places around the 'net.  
Tumblr: [@wolfloner-official](https://wolfloner-official.tumblr.com/AboutMe)  
Discord: @Wolfloner#9177
> 
> There's also: [The "Official" FrostIron Discord](https://discord.gg/5tGNdtD).  
And, more recently: [Wolf and Sky's Fever Dreams](https://discord.gg/w5AqUAn). A few friends/fans talked us into making a discord for our fanworks, haha. So come say hi to us there, if you'd like!


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